SG Intelligent Coaching

On today’s episode of myth busters.

“Yeah… I’ve got a slow metabolism”

A quote used by 100% of people who do not understand what metabolic rate is.

So without delving into the jargon-tastic science-y stuff let’s look at the logical, pragmatic side of the ol’ “slow metabolism patter.

Metabolic function can be adversely impacted by extreme dieting, including yo-yo dieting.

So when we have someone who’s working toward their “Ibiza beach bod” by starving themselves for 12 weeks for a couple photos (OMG BABES YOU LOOK AMAAAAAZING 😍🔥)… to then come back and devour everything in sight like an ocean beach loving Pac-man, problems may arise.

But…

Still ain’t enough to “shut down” your metabolism.

Think about when your metabolism was “high”…

When you were young(er) yeah?

When you used to walk everywhere because you didn’t drive? When you weren’t old enough to drink? When you used to still be involved in sports and activity? When you didn’t have access to any and all the processed junk food in the world, due to either money or parental constraints?

So, what’s changed?

Is it your metabolism, or is it the fact you sit on your hoop for 10 hours a day and drive your car 200m to go to the shop for sweeties and crisps for some Netflix’n ‘n’ Chillin’…n’?

Let’s face it, anyone who’s using the slow metabolism patter is most likely in a position where they’re unhappy with how they look. Yet, they would appear to happy enough to have an excuse for it, rather than embrace the remedy.

Here’s the practical side - if you were to eat and move in relative terms as to when you believe your metabolism was “high” (you thought you were slim), you would remain in the same relative shape to what you were back then.

If anything, as an adult it should be easier. Your body is bigger.
To move a bigger body requires more energy.
Energy in this case being calories.
If you move more, you burn more calories.

The matter then comes down to overeating.

But Jesus let’s not get into that right now.

Metabolic rate is primarily governed by external stimulus and rate of energy expenditure.

If you do next to nothing outside of scratch your arse in front of screens all day, it won’t work in your favour to keep you trim and in shape.

Nobody defies the laws of thermodynamics.

Move more and don’t eat like a dick. Enjoy the rewards.

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This “I’ve had a bad day” patter needs to stop.

There’s no such thing as a “bad day” when dieting, just bad decisions.

Stressed at work.
Someone died.
Something died (dog, cat, f*ckin goldfish)
Kids are doing your nut in.

Sabotaging your weight/fat loss goals is only gonna make your day worse.

You know why...? Because there’s always gonna be s**t happening and you need to stop relying on food as a coping mechanism. (Or even worse, using things as an excuse to be greedy)

The 5 minutes joy you experience eating s**te, then balanced against the hours of “I shouldn’t have had that”.

When most people say “I had a bad day...” it’s usually followed by one of;

I ate a bar of chocolate
I had a Chinese/chippy/Indian
I tucked into a bag of sweeties

Or some other nonsense.

Now, on the understanding that you can essentially eat ANYTHING so long as you adhere to a calorie deficit to lose weight, this is where we call bulls**t on the confessions.

“I had a bad day” translates into real person speak as, “I chucked everything in the f**k it bucket and ate like a greedy bastard for a day”.

If you’re offended by that, it’s probably because it’s you who does it.

The personal training confession of “I had a chocolate bar two weeks past Friday” is nonsense. Because when you step on the scales, instead of a number, it should just read “LIAR”.

So... point. Here it is.

All you dieters.

1. Stop talking pish about how much you’re eating. The scales and your measurements will tell the truth.
2. Eat WHATEVER YOU WANT, so long as you budget it to within a calorie allowance.
3. If you want to eat more, move more, it’ll afford you more calories to consume while still maintaining a deficit.
4. Stop, for f**ks sake, STOP, looking for people to tell you “it’s ok, just start again on Monday”, because that’s enabling destructive behaviour.
5. Decide if you actually want the body you say you do. Because if you did, you’d get on with it. If you have a day where you go over calories, you’ll rein in the calories in the following days and get on track.

Don’t be upset about the results you didn’t get because of the work you didn’t do.

Also, coaches will nod and smile and tell you it’s ok to constantly be getting further from your goals so long as you’re paying them.

Stop paying your coach and then tell them you’ve put on weight, even though you “haven’t been eating that much”... see how much they care then.

I get that people won’t like my approach and that’s fine, but if you want results, if you want honesty and you want real accountability, I’ll direct you to ANY of my clients and they can tell you how it made them feel.

You are not a snowflake. You are not unique. You do not defy the laws of thermodynamics.

Any questions, mail me and I’ll happily help you out.

There’s a fine line between discussing mental health and enabling behaviour with “mental health” as justification.

Nowadays there are so many amazing groups specifically set up in order to support people suffering with mental illness, or with issues negatively impacting their mental health.

But... Facebook isn’t one of them.

The hypocrisy within so many posts floating around Facebook and other socials is nothing short of deplorable.

That curly headed j**z rag “the Body Coach” selling a story to a newspaper about how he “was so depressed that he ate a dairy milk a day”...

National f**king newspaper.

Meanwhile Laura, 32, call centre worker killed herself because she couldn’t cope with the thoughts in her head.

But we celebrate good ol’ Joe’s openness about his “depression”.

Turning into sycophantic puppies celebrating his bravery, completely ignoring the fact he’s selling a f**king product.

(If your instant feeling is to say “he’s just jealous”... I’m only jealous of his full head of hair)

Exploitation of what is one of the biggest killers of young people in this current climate for financial gain.

Facedicks and Instaf**ks who have a level 2 in gym instruction are not valid outlets or sources of information when it comes to dealing with mental health.

Anecdotes of when people were sad are sadly (but realistically) used to gain followers and attention, which in turn rewards them with financial compensation.

Validity... nil points.

Neither is writing a long winded post that you’re counting the likes on to see if you cross a threshold into temporary happiness.

Also, anyone who’s done that, I can assure you, an amount of people read it, “like” or “love” it, then show it to the person next to them and say “listen to this pish”.

Much like people will with this post.

This isn’t to be cynical, negative, pessimistic or anything else.

It’s to tell some people the f**king truth.

If you want to talk, share or confide... a public social media platform probably isn’t the best place, because most people don’t actually care, despite what they “comment”.

There are amazing groups and amazing people out there in REAL LIFE who can support, advise and help.

If you’re struggling with mental health, there’s no one answer to “fix” you, but a platform which is built on narcissism, ego and exhibitionism will no doubt exacerbate your already stressful feelings.

Like it, lump it, feel offended by it, do what you want with it.

But for god’s sake, stop trivialising mental health by making it a f**king game of “likes”

If anyone feels the need to reach out for any reason, I’m happy to direct you to organisations or individuals I have personally dealt with and who know what they’re dealing with. Because I don’t.

You wouldn’t ask a painter and decorator to fit the clutch in your motor now would you?

✌🏼