The Spring Back Guide

Loneliness on (+Paternity) is REAL 😞

I remember an old colleague of mine telling me how much she’d “LOVED” her matleave: “All I did was drink Prosecco in the park”!(If this is you - happy for you - this isn’t the post for you 😉 )

So when I had my first , and felt deep, true loneliness - it made me feel like a freak. 😔

Maybe it was just me?

Nope - it wasn’t. And I WISH someone had told me that this was really, really common. 🤷‍♀️Why does it happen? And what can we do about it?

1. ➡️ Our journeys are so different. I had a sick baby, a weird birth, a horrible NICU experience and no breastfeeding. I couldn’t have felt more separate from my (very nice) NCT group. ✨ BE KIND TO YOURSELF - THERE IS NO ‘PERFECTION’ IN BIRTH, FEEDING OR MOTHERHOOD✨
2. ➡️ Exhaustion is real. My 1st didn’t sleep for 2.5years😵‍💫. Sleep deprivation can make us feel unhinged. When we are used to being ‘busy’ all day at work, being in core survival mode can make us feel ‘useless’. Speak to your partner / a family member to prioritise ONE night of sleep… You’ll feel 10x better. And remember ✨YOU WILL SLEEP AGAIN (promise)✨
3. ➡️Our friends may be at different life stages. Before babies, we’re sort of on the same ladder. Babies suddenly make it… a jungle gym. ✨PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE, GO TO THAT BABYGROUP! NEW FRIENDSHIPS TAKE TIME TO FORM (and then they’re so worth it)✨
4. ➡️Postnatal Support.Until it’s fixed, I’m afraid it’s slightly DIY - but there are good things about this. You can be selective and find the right support for your own situation - but you have to ✨ASK FOR HELP (sort of what we are here for!
5. ➡️ partners (generally) haven’t gone through the experience of growing a human. And birthing it. And then the broken glass b***s at the start feeding it. AND the rest...masculinity in our society doesn’t have the greatest ability to empathise - but generally they are truly trying. And it’s better than it was for our mums?! ✨LIVED EXPERIENCE = EMPATHY. Try and leave the baby more with them, as much as you feel comfortable with... little by little they WILL start to get it✨

Signup to Go Back Happy 💌for the full piece… tomorrow!

New look 👀

Ok so - def not the first person to come up with this term (Really wish I was though 😂). We all know what Maternity is. Returnity (in my view) is the back to work journey 🏡💻

It is definitely not yet a ‘thing’ in our workplaces. But it definitely should be🤔

For us AND our Bosses. And I’m gonna tell you why 🤓 

Mat policies are centred around the physical act of becoming mum👶🏾 , that has to be legally acknowledged✍️(unless you live in the USA🇺🇸😬….). And even that ‘acknowledgment’ can fall short when you’re scraping by on statutory mat ‘pay’💸(Mine barely covered formula & nappies 🤔).

It tends to basically be bullets of how much your £ will diminish by 💸💸and over what time period⏰. With some KIT days chucked in 😥. And perhaps a phased return (if you’re lucky)😬

‘Back to work’ is therefore usually lumped into a Mat Policy. An afterthought. Because - your Mat Leave has ended - right? So you ‘just’ …. go back… Right?😅

We all know the hideousness of the nursery bugs🦠🤒 . The nursery number flashing up on your phone 📱😖- juuuuuust as you’re stepping into a client meeting 🆘. You and your partner battling over WhatsApp “But MY meeting is more important” (Define important 🙄). It creates tension at home - AND tension at work🫣

Boss: “Can’t someone else collect them?” You: “Um - no?”

✨A Returnity approach from workplaces fixes this
✨It acknowledges the transition period as a very real ‘thing’. Sometimes we simply want to feel heard👂
✨It professionally accepts the teething issues that come with a baby who’s still adjusting to life outside of the mummy bubble with its emotional + physical results💜
✨It decreases our mumguilt, decreases our workguilt, and makes us feel valued + supported💕
✨So it makes us more likely to stay. Up to 95% more likely to stay, actually (DM me for sources)

⚠️ Given that a whopping 85% of women quit their existing role within 3y of coming back after a baby (thanks and the awesome Jess Heagren for this statistic)- 💖VALUING and SUPPORTING 💖your female talent is integral to retention - and therefore money saving. It’s also the right thing to do 🤫

Let’s make it a thing??

👆 This was a really huge decision for me but it’s the right thing for you - and without you guys I don’t exist! I hope this helps you, or someone you care about 💜.