The Official Monster Raving Loony Party

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HERE IS OUR MANICFESTO
for The Clacton Unfunfair Election 2026

We will stand for this election on the basis that its nothing to do with the local constituents and merely a way of hiding finances for our Leader.

We will rename Clacton on Sea to Eric (well it worked for Windscale)

Crime is a big issue in the Clacton constituency. We will reduce it by
not having so many By Elections. Thus freeing up Police and money for other duties.

Clacton Peer to have a seat in the House of Lords.

Clacton is a deprived area so we will ensure M.P,s will be required to stay in the area, concentrate on working full time for the area, and not have second,3rd, 4th 5th etc jobs and other interests, such as Astronomy.

We will Ban Intergalatic interference in UK elections.

We will reclaim Dogger Bank from the sea, name it Doggerland, with Clacton as its Capital

Along with the existing Government policy for levelling up the North with the South, we will provide
(a) Free Spirit Levels to all.
(b) AI to be converted to A-Up, and in Scotland AYE (pronounced I)

To help reduce Government spending, we will replace all Government Think Tanks , with a Bucket.

We will replace employees of the Border Force with GP receptionists. This will dramatically reduce the number of people getting in.

To help with the Cost of Living..We will get rid of VAT as it adds no value.

To help raise money for the Treasury we will Convert Numbers 10 and 11 Downing Street into a Hair salon, Which we will call ‘Government CutZ’

We will reduce hospital waiting lists by using a smaller font.

To make things fairer we will introduce a Court of Human Lefts.

We have had lots of comments on various platforms asking us to standown for Binface
Loonies standown?
Not a chance
Lets be honest here.. Binface will not win, he'll be lucky to get his deposit back. There will be several independent candidates standing, so Farage being surrounded by loonies (of all genre's) would be a lasting image.
So far there are 10 definite or have expressed their intention to stand (source pollcheck)
Also for all the people who say we should have a coalition (not that we would) i refer you to this:
“Count Binface rules out pact with Monster Raving Loony Party”
The Telegraph — 09 July 2026
“No, I don’t need a pact with anybody. I’m quite happy, thank you.”
He also dismisses the idea of a “Loony‑Bin pact” when asked on BBC Newsnight.
r.u