Really Good Sax Guys

Congrats to RGSG Shane O Leary on qualifying for next year Rugby world cup with Canada. WE'RE GOING TO JAPAN!

It's time for fresh crusty batch of player profiles, courtesy of our Kinsale Captain. Final preparation being put in place for the Tullamore , with some players limiting themselves to 6 pints a night this week. #

Conor Moloney
A junior member of the senior management team for the 2017 season having tragically called time on his playing days due to a repetitive strain injury to the a**s. Recently elected Global Amassador for Mirrors, Flexing and Cheap Laughs with Results Ireland... this bronze adonis insists his glowing complexion is an inevitable consequence of the Mediterranean microclimate of liosban. Epitomises the sax appeal philosophy at the heart of this movement.... if the sight of him on the sideline doesn't get both fellas and Fannys in a flutter, expect the blatant lies of his exploits in the Scarriff colours to do the trick!
Fun fact: Conor can play piano to grade 8 with his freakishly long toes

Martin "Fatty" Connolly
One of the greatest u21 no.9's to grace glenina's hallowed grounds between the years of 2008-2009 (except Ferg Campbell). What he lacks in consistency of passing / tackling he makes up for in a moments of sheer magic above and beyond his capability and scope. A sure man for a sneaky try.... for either team
Fun Fact: Fatty is an avid Basketball fan, despite being only 4 foot 2, and his idol is Mugsy Bogues.

Gregory leader
Better know as Noels son, or darraghs leaders brother. Although he might not be as good with sheds as his aul lad, or puppy prom pics as his brother, he is the man when it comes to maths. And this weekend Greg says all the numbers point towards a Sax Guy win.
Fun fact, Pinnacle of gregs illustrious career was Being named knockon.ie's Connacht junior number 8 of the season 2010

Dave Gallagher
One of Galway's finest entrepreneurs setting up Results Ireland , but when dave isn't getting clients results in the gym he's out getting sax guys results on the field (Results Ireland ). Although dave has two left feet for hands, he's a tall blonde bombshell ready to rock your ruck. Also odds on favourite to not know what's going on
Fun fact: Dave bought his first car this year, and Noonan is after scratching it half an hour ago. The fu***ng Ape

Liam Phelan,
Aka touchy pheely. This powerful Kilkenny juggernaut in recent times is better known for his foret's off the pitch taking on the role of manager at the kinsale 7's. Although he may have had success first time out as manager he's dusting off he mizuno scrummaging boots for one more pop at tullamore glory with his cohort of mixed ability players. If drinking bulmers with one eye open approach with caution , you've been warned
Fun fact: During his time playing with Shannon RFC in Limerick, Phelan developed an interest in Pieball Ponies. Having bred an array of Pieballs, Phelan Fest is on course to overtake Ballinasloe and Spancill Hill as the biggest horse fair in the country.

With a guest writer on board, and never for the easily offended, here's your first batch of player profiles ahead of the big weekend in Tullamore!

Shane O' Leary
Shane is a newly recruited mercurial mercenary whose globetrotting career has so far included spells in Canada and Grenoble although it was in the "killing fields" of young munster and the "tillage fields" of east Clare where he first cut his teeth. Victory with the RGSG 7's would come close to replicating what must surely rank as the finest achievement in his illustrious career to date... his glorious triumph in Scarriff RFC St Stephens day test match.
Fun fact: Shane once kicked all of Canada's points in a 13-0 loss to Georgia

Declan Noonan
Ah the ginger ninja, AKA the Fraudfather, AKA Delia Delicious... dec truly is the flute that compliments the champagne rugby of the sax guys. A leader of men who routinely looks for contact in attack and staunchly avoids it in defence. Much like Liam neeson in Taken, declan possesses a very particular set of skills... few of which compliment the sevens format although one overlooks his ability in all day seshery and general gowlhawkery at their peril.
Fun fact: Declan's pungent aroma has been trialled as a fire alarm replacement across

Aaron Mcloughlin
A Rossie to the core, Aaron is a throwback to a bygone era when men were men and sheep were afraid... "Ramraider" or "rami" as he's affectionately known was once renowned for his sunny disposition and all round chirpy demeanour. 3 years living with noonan however have rendered him a crippling cynic and an all round purveyor of pessimism... expect him to unleash his indiscriminate fury on opponents, teammates, officials, bar staff and general well wishers in equal measure.
Fun fact: Rami actually stands for "Routine Anger Management Intervention"

Mike Noonan
The second of part of a double signing of scarriff ex-pats for this tournament... all eyes were on the recent press conference where the worst kept secret on the 7's circuit was confirmed... that Mike Moonan and Shane O'Leary would be centrally contracted to the sax guys until after the tullamore shindig. Quite how much farther the purse strings can stretch for this raft of extravagant overseas signings is a point of concern but nobody is questioning the price tag on this guys head.
Fun fact: Mike has recently patented an invention which allows him to milk the Noonan's cows from London where he currently resides.

John "Rambo" Horan
Many a midlands minge'll be moist at the mere mention of Rambo rolling into tullamore on Saturday. A titan of Kilkenny RFC and Dicksboro GAA... Rambo was forced to skip his hometown 7's due to concerns over crowd control should the prodigal pest return. While the mind boggles as to how this man is still single, just a message of warning to the curious ladies out there... you're gonna wanna prenup before you take on the rambunctious one! A thoroughly thrifty operator, expect eyebrows to be raised when the mileage expenses land at Sax Guys HQ at about 09.05 on Monday!
Fun fact: Non applicable... Rambo hates fun!

Eoin O' Fahertha "Dingo"
In a classic case of Chinese whispers gone wrong, the RGSG's got slightly carried away with the rumours around dingos rugby credentials before the Kilkenny 7's only for it to transpire that the pinnacle of his fabled career had in fact arrived before the age of 12. Nonetheless he proved a willing runner whose many talents include being hauled down with the line at his mercy, helping countless camping virgins erect their tents and holding Delia's hair back while she's sick.
Fun fact: the dingo was exiled from his native Australia for wrestling a bottle of whisky from an aborigine.

Cathal Noonan
The talented noonan... Cathal is the hired legs signed to carry the heaving beer gut of the sax guys over the line. The senior management team debated long and hard as to whether they should expose this diamond in the rough to such a bunch of degenerates but once they surveyed the sauce-swilling ball-spilling squad assembled before them they wasted little time in putting their dubious morals to one side for the greater good.
Fun fact: Cathal once scored 4-26 for kilanena while carrying a brother on either shoulder

Johnny "Rats" Rhatigan
Johnny Rats is a barnstorming, ball-carrying belvedere blitzkrieg. Johnny is perhaps best summarised as a benson and hedges smoking on both ends... he hits hard, leaves you struggling to catch your breath and lasts about 3 pulls. So perturbed is johnny at the lack of pay for play with the sax guys that he has not bought a round since he first joined the fold in 2015... here's hoping his skills are as tight as his wallet!
Fun fact: Johnny held the Mcvities sponsored title of All-Ireland soggy biscuit champion from 2006-2013!