LeboMoja

Me: Hi Mom, I’m here to interview you. Unusual answers only. Okay, Can you tell me what you do for a living?

Mom: Sure, honey. I’m a professional procrastinator. I put off everything until the last minute and then panic and stress out.

Me: Wow, that sounds like a very challenging job. How do you manage to do it?

Mom: Well, it’s not easy. It takes a lot of skill and talent to avoid doing anything productive. I have to constantly distract myself with social media, online shopping, Netflix, and napping.

Me: Fascinating. And what are the benefits of being a procrastinator?

Mom: Oh, there are many benefits. For example, I get to experience the thrill of adrenaline rush when I have to finish a task in a short time. I also get to be more creative and spontaneous, since I don’t have time to plan or think things through. And I get to lower my expectations and standards, so I’m never disappointed with the results.

Me: I see. And what are the drawbacks of being a procrastinator?

Mom: Drawbacks? There are no drawbacks. Procrastination is the best way to live your life. Why do something today when you can do it tomorrow? Or the day after tomorrow? Or never?

Me: Hmm, interesting. And how do you balance your work and your personal life?

Mom: Balance? What balance? There is no balance. My work is my personal life, and my personal life is my work. I don’t have time for anything else. Except for this interview, of course.

Me: Well, thank you for your time, Mom. You’ve been very insightful and helpful.

Mom: You’re welcome, sweetie. Anytime you need me, just let me know. But not right now, because I have something very important to do.

Me: What is it?

Mom: Nothing.

Proscatinator 2.0 by Machio Hosea
First appeared on my blog.

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