Built2Last Interdenominational

MARRIAGE WON'T FIX YOU

A few years ago, I was counselling a couple. They were having serious issues in their marriage. Midway through the session, the wife said, “This issue started during our courtship. But I thought marriage would fix it. I see now that I was wrong.” That statement birthed today’s sharing: Marriage won’t fix you.

Friend, marriage won’t fix you. It will only magnify who you already are (1 Peter 3:1-7). Sadly, many people enter marriage, hoping it will fix them. Some even expect their spouse to fix them. There are spouses who have taken on the burden of “fixing” their partner. They ended up frustrated (1 Samuel 25:25).

The purpose of singlehood is to work on yourself before marriage (Proverbs 31:1-31). There’s no point rushing into marriage while ignoring obvious flaws in your life and character. Many people go into marriage with high expectations but low preparation. The result is premium frustration (2 Chronicles 27:6).

A great marriage will give you opportunities to grow and become better if you maximize it. (1 Timothy 4:7-8, 15). It will come at a cost. It will test your patience, humility, and selflessness. It will stretch you beyond your comfort (Isaiah 54:1-3). This is where many people react negatively instead of responding rightly.

Looking to your spouse to fix you, or trying to fix your spouse, is a subtle way of sidelining God’s lordship over both your lives. Let Him fix you both (2 Corinthians 3:18). That’s why it’s more productive to pray for your spouse than to nag them. It’s better to commit their heart to God than to engage in carnal manipulation (Proverbs 21:1).

Dear singles: If your life right now were multiplied in marriage, what kind of marriage would you have? If you don’t like the picture, change it now (James 1:22-25). Dear married folks: Maximize every opportunity for growth that marriage brings. Allow yourself to be tested, stretched, and refined. Stay under accountability (Isaiah 51:1-2). Don’t put your walk with God on hold while expecting marriage to work magic.

QUIET SUCCESS

A man of God received some journalists at his ministry headquarters. After witnessing the impact of the work, they told him, “Sir, you’re doing amazing work. Why not let us put you out there so the world can see what you’re doing?” He responded: “I know what I’m doing. God knows what I’m doing. That’s enough.”

Friend, you don’t have to be loud to be solid. You don’t have to make noise to make impact (Matthew 6:1-6). Not every success is noisy, and not every impact announces itself. You must get comfortable with quiet success. Be assured that God sees and knows what you are doing (Galatians 6:7-9).

You must resist the pressure to prove that you’re doing something (John 7:3-6). The truth is, people who do things that count don’t pause to count them. Those who matter won’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter. If you can’t manage success, you won’t sustain impact (2 Chronicles 26:16).

People who are truly busy doing something are rarely available for optics (Philippians 3:12-14). If you’re busy with God in prayer, you won’t have time to be busy with people. If you’re investing quality time in your life and assignment, you won’t be available for every gist and gossip (Song of Songs 1:6).

There are Sanballats and Tobiahs everywhere trying to pull you away from your God-given assignment (Nehemiah 6:1-3). Like they did with Jesus, they’ll ask you to prove that God is with you. They’ll ask you to prove that you’re called and anointed. Don’t entertain them (Luke 4:3-4).

You will either live your life fulfilling purpose or live it trying to prove a point (John 7:8-10). Sadly, many people are busy proving a point to people who don’t even have their best interest at heart. Some pastors have stopped pursuing what God told them. They’re chasing what is generally accepted while disobeying the heavenly vision (Acts 26:19).