HealthPlanet Foundation

I just read a post asking single mothers what they have to say to men.

There were over 5,000 comments from single mothers, sharing their different stories and pains.

I really feel for them. After reading through the comments, I was left with so many questions.

Why are they going through this?
Is it their fault?
Where is the father of the child?

Because truly, it is not a woman’s fault to fall in love or to have s*x with the man she loves. Why, then, would he leave her to suffer the consequences alone?

The world is already wicked with the stigmatization of single motherhood. Many men refuse to marry a woman simply because she is a single mother.

Imagine a mother hiding her child just because she wants to get married.

Why are women going through this?

And you, the father, you just move on—to another woman—to find love and start a new, beautiful family.

Who then cares for your baby mama? What happens to her?

Please, let’s be responsible fathers and men. I know most of you won’t marry a single mother, and that pain alone is already enough for them. Women do not deserve this.

If you’re a single mother, jisieike. God will be your strength. And if you need someone to talk to, please DM.

Attachment styles shape how we love, connect, and navigate closeness, often without us even realising it. These patterns quietly influence the partners we choose, the way we communicate, and even how safe we feel in relationships.

Anxious attachment may pull you into overthinking and seeking constant reassurance, while avoidant attachment might push you towards distance, independence, and emotional walls.

And if you are anxiously avoidant, you might find yourself craving closeness one moment and needing space the next, leaving you confused about your own needs. These styles are not personality flaws, they are emotional blueprints formed through early experiences and repeated patterns.

Attachment styles are not fixed or permanent. With awareness, reflection, and healing, you can gradually rewrite the script your past handed you.

You can learn to communicate in healthier ways, build safer connections, and choose relationships that nurture instead of trigger your insecurities.

Most importantly, you can develop a secure attachment with yourself, one built on self trust, compassion, and emotional safety. Because attachment is not only about who you bond with; it's about how you show up for your own heart, day after day.

People often assume addiction begins with a “bad decision,” but when you listen to someone’s story, you realise it’s never that simple. Addiction rarely grows out of weakness, it grows out of wounds. It begins in the quiet places where pain was never expressed, where emotions were dismissed, or where someone simply needed relief from a life that felt too heavy to carry alone.

For many, addiction starts as coping. It might trace back to childhood homes where love had conditions or where chaos made it impossible to feel safe. It may begin in adolescence, during years filled with loneliness, pressure, or a desperate desire to belong. For others, it emerges later in life, after a loss, a heartbreak, unrelenting stress, or a moment when everything felt unbearable and they needed just one thing to soften the edges.

The roots of addiction are often tied to unmet emotional needs, trauma, and the deep human longing for connection. When you have never felt soothed or supported, numbing becomes a survival tool. When painful memories linger unresolved, the mind looks for ways to quiet them. And when life becomes overwhelming, the brain naturally seeks shortcuts to relief. Nobody wakes up and chooses addiction, it slips in quietly, disguised as comfort, until comfort becomes a cage.

Addiction is not a story about broken people. It’s a story about people who were hurting, coping, surviving, and doing the best they could with what they had. Healing doesn’t come from shame or judgment; it grows from compassion, especially self-compassion. Healing begins when we stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?” and start asking, “What happened to me, and what do I need now?”

If you are on the path to recovery, or supporting someone who is, remember this: there is nothing weak about wanting to feel better. The roots of addiction may run deep, but so does the human capacity to rise, repair, and rebuild. You are more than your past, more than your pain, and more than your addiction. You are a human being with a story, and every story has the power to change.

If you are looking for therapy and want to work with me, then reach out to me at Healthplanetpsychotherapy.com or leave a text on my whatsapp at +2348105753528. I am here when you are ready.

10 THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN YOU ARE STRESSED

Stress is part of life, so it’s impossible to avoid entirely. Whether you’re dealing with emotional, physical, intellectual, or financial stress, here are some things you shouldn’t do; and what to try instead.👇

1. Don’t ponder on it too much.�It’s natural to think about what’s stressing you, but overthinking only increases anxiety and tension. Instead, focus on what you can control and let go of what you can’t.

2. Don’t isolate yourself.�Although isolation may feel comforting at first, it can weaken your relationships over time. Healthy connections help reduce stress. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, consider reaching out to a therapist.

3. Don’t turn to junk food.�Stress can trigger emotional eating, but consistently choosing unhealthy food can affect your weight, hormones, and energy levels. Opt for small nutritious snacks that support your body.

4. Don’t sacrifice sleep.�Sleep is one of the best remedies for stress. Adults need at least six hours of quality rest. Create a sleep routine that helps calm your mind and body.

5. Don’t transfer aggression.�Taking frustration out on others only damages relationships and creates guilt later. Try pausing, breathing, or stepping away before reacting.

6. Don’t blame others for your stress.�Pointing fingers keeps you focused on what’s outside your control. Instead, shift your attention to what you can adjust or change.

7. Don’t miss meaningful opportunities.�Stress can make you want to hide from new responsibilities, but passing up opportunities may slow your growth. Take breaks if needed, but don’t let stress stop you from moving forward.

8. Don’t skip exercise.�Unless advised otherwise by a doctor, simple movement even stretching or walking can release feel-good hormones and improve sleep.

9. Don’t entertain toxicity.�When you’re stressed, guard your emotional space. Avoid gossip, negativity, and draining conversations. Feed your mind with uplifting content.

10. Don’t overwork yourself.�Using work as an escape only increases burnout. Balance productivity with rest to allow your mind and body to recover

Stress may be unavoidable, but how you respond to it makes all the difference. Protect your peace, take care of your mind and body. You deserve rest, support, and balance.

REBUILDING IDENTITY AFTER LOSS

Loss changes you not just your circumstances but your sense of self.
When something or someone you loved is gone, it’s not only their absence you grieve, it’s the version of you that existed when they were still here.

You find yourself asking quietly, “Who am I now?”
Without them. Without that dream. Without that role that once defined me.

This question is not a sign of weakness, it’s the beginning of rebirth.

Grief doesn’t erase who you are; it reveals who you’re becoming.
It asks you to strip away the titles, roles and routines that once defined you and meet yourself again — raw, real and ready to rebuild.

Rebuilding after loss isn’t about “moving on.”
It’s about learning to move with your grief, until it softens into wisdom.

It’s about remembering:
✓ You are more than what you lost.
✓ Your worth doesn’t end with what ended.
✓ You can honor what was and still create what’s next.
✓ You are allowed to rediscover joy without guilt.

Healing is not forgetting. It’s integration.
It’s allowing both love and loss to coexist to let pain carve deeper compassion and to let endings give birth to new beginnings.

You rebuild by feeling deeply, by being curious about who you are becoming and by trusting that even in your brokenness, you are still whole.

One day, you’ll look back and realize you didn’t just survive. You transformed.