D'Deborahs

What have you been practicing: self-love or self-care?

Pause. Don't scroll past this one.

Because I think a lot of us have been doing one and calling it the other. And nobody is talking about it honestly enough.

So let me.

Self-care is the bubble bath.
The solo dinner date.
The "no" you finally said to that draining situation.
The skincare routine. The rest day. The therapy session.

And listen, all of that is good. Genuinely good.

But self-care is what you do.

Self-love is who you believe you are when nobody is watching. When the routine is disrupted. When the glow-up isn't visible yet. When you've failed again and you're sitting in the quiet of your own company.

That's where self-love lives.

Here is where it gets real.

You can take care of something you don't love.

Think about it.

You can water a plant out of obligation. You can maintain a car you're indifferent to. You can show up for a job you resent every single day. Maintenance does not equal love.

So when we dress it up, go to the spa, post the "I chose myself" caption... and still go to bed rehearsing every reason we are not enough?

That is self-care without self-love.

And so many of us have been living there. Quietly. Beautifully curated on the outside. Empty on the inside.

I know, because I have been there too.

There was a season I was doing everything "right."

Journaling. Resting. Setting limits. Showing up for myself on paper.

But my inner world was still a courtroom.

I was still the defendant.

Still cross-examining every choice. Every scar. Every version of me that didn't make the cut. I was taking care of a woman I hadn't yet decided deserved to exist fully.

That is not self-love. That is self-management.
And here is the shift that changed everything for me.

Real self-love, the kind that doesn't collapse under pressure, the kind that doesn't need external validation to survive, the kind that looks in the mirror on a hard day and still chooses grace...

That kind of love has a source.

You cannot manufacture it. You cannot spa day your way into it. You cannot affirm it into permanence if the root isn't there.

Because self-love that is not rooted in how God sees you will always be fragile.

It will always be performance.

It will always be contingent on how well you're doing, how loved you feel by others, how close you are to the version of yourself you approve of.

But God's love for you is not contingent.

It is not a reward.

It is not withheld when you are a mess.

He loved you before the glow-up. Before the healing. Before you figured it out. He looked at you in your most undone state and said, still mine. Still worth it. Still chosen.

That is the foundation self-love has to be built on.

Not self-help. Not self-improvement. Not the highlight reel.

Him.

When you understand that you are deeply, irreversibly loved by the God who made you...

Self-care becomes an act of worship, not a performance.

The bubble bath becomes rest for a body that carries God's image.

The boundary becomes an act of stewardship, not a flex.

The "no" becomes wisdom, not just self-preservation.

Everything changes when love comes first.

Self-care flows naturally out of self-love.

But self-love, true self-love, flows from knowing whose you are.

So let me ask you again, gently, not to judge but to invite you into something deeper:

What have you actually been practicing?

And if it's mostly been self-care... that's okay. That's where a lot of us started.

But don't stop there.

Go deeper. Ask God to show you how He sees you. Let that become the mirror you look into. Let that be the love you learn to carry.

Because when you love yourself the way God loves you...

You stop just managing yourself.

You start becoming yourself.

Drop a 🤍 if this landed for you. And share it with someone who needs the distinction.

MEET OUR SPEAKER Godswill Ezinne Miracle

Godswill Miracle is a relationship coach, and certified Human Resource Manager, with a degree in Microbiology.

As the founder of Building God's Kind of Relationship (BGKR), a thriving social media community, she is dedicated to empowering individuals to build and maintain God-centered relationships. With a passion for raising Godly youths and families, she believes that no time is too late to start a relationship with God.

She is particularly devoted to guiding single youths in establishing a strong foundation with God and supporting married couples in building their homes on faith.

With her expertise and experience, Godswill has become a voice for building God's kind of relationships inspiring young adults to cultivate meaningful relationships with God and others.

You don't want to miss out on value tomorrow! 😏

Join our Telegram group now!!

D'Deborahs

I remember the first time I realized that being a woman came with so many unspoken rules.

From the time we’re little girls, we’re taught to be 'good,' to behave, to aspire towards one thing—becoming someone’s wife, someone’s mother.

But what about becoming someone to ourselves first?

I used to think my dreams were just fantasies—things I could only pursue in another life. But then, something clicked. I realized that while I was busy fulfilling roles, my purpose was waiting for me to notice it. And let me tell you, sis, that moment changed everything.

There’s nothing wrong with being a wife or mother—it’s beautiful and fulfilling in its own way.

But what if I told you that before you take on those roles, you have a responsibility to yourself first?

To nurture your own dreams, to fulfill your own potential, to live out the calling that’s been placed on your life?

I’m here to tell you that there’s a purpose for you that goes beyond society’s expectations.

And this week, we’re going to dive into it at the More Than Just A Rib conference.

Together, we’ll explore what it means to be more than what we’ve been told we are. I hope to see you there.

October 24th - 25th, 2024
8 PM Nigeria Time
Access is free, strictly for ladies.

D'Deborahs

MEET OUR SPEAKER Favour Chidinma Odia

Favour Chidimma Odia is a dynamic and daring young professional with a multifaceted career as a brand strategist, certified Laboratory Technologist, seasoned
Writer, Purpose
Catalyst, and virtual assistant. She is deeply passionate about personal development, vision building, social impact, purposeful living, and growth.

Through her coaching, consulting, and capacity-building efforts, Favour leverages her extraordinary ability to unlock potential in young people, helping them to see, discover, and become their true selves.

She is the president of the Dearest Church Girl Movement, the Director of Growth Crib Network (GCN), and the host of the Quantum Leap Conference.

Favour's work is dedicated to inspiring and empowering individuals to live with purpose and make a meaningful impact in their communities.

Yet to join our Telegram group for 'MORE THAN JUST A RIB CONFERENCE ?"

What are you waiting for? 😊❤️❤️

Use the link in the comment section below

D'Deborahs

WE ARE IN CLASS!

MORE THAN JUST A RIB PRE-CONFERENCE TEACHING SESSION!

https://t.me/+c2mNjbgh9-hhZWJk

Joy Chinyere God'swill