Royaltotsstudio

I asked my four-year-old if they wanted to get married when they grow up and they looked at me with pure horror and said no because they do not want someone else touching their iPad all the time.

Honestly that is the most solid relationship advice I have heard in years. They have reached a level of personal boundaries and asset protection that most adults are still trying to figure out. They aren't looking for a soulmate; they are looking for a secure perimeter for their digital property.

We are out here worried about compatibility and shared values while they are focused on the real issues like screen time and snack autonomy. They really have their priorities straight from day one.

I walked into the kitchen and found my toddler with chocolate smeared from ear to ear. When I asked if they ate the brownies, they looked me straight in the eye and said, "No, I think a bear came in and did it while I was sleeping."

I asked where the bear went and they said, "He had a meeting, Mom, he is very busy." The level of commitment to the lie is actually impressive. They do not just tell a story; they build an entire cinematic universe with character arcs and scheduling conflicts.

I am not even mad about the brownies anymore. I am just impressed they managed to book a bear for a corporate lunch in our kitchen. Kids are out here living in a completely different reality and honestly, I am just waiting for my invite to the next meeting.