Ademola Adeyemi.

Feminism vs Masculinity

One thing that would not cease to amaze me is how some young girls used to say “ What a man can do,a woman can do better” or things like; “I can’t be controlled by a man”.
May I ask this question; can you as a woman or lady determine who to marry, ask a man out or even get married to two men at a time? It’s just very simple, a woman is a woman while a man is a man.

Out of several reasons why a man and a woman can never be at a reasonable equilibrium or balance is the fact that; A woman will need a man for Love, companionship, procreation and security ( financial and emotional securities) as in the case of marriages,while a man needs a woman for support, a team member and a cheerleader.

Before the advent of European colonialism, Africans had adopted a system of family hierarchy that permits a man to exercise some levels of authority being the head of the house. Consequently,this particular system is fading off like smoke in the air.

We can not chide from the fact that the Man is the head of the house. The holy Quran -Nisa 4:34 This verse adjudges the role of a husband as protector and maintainer of his wife and how he should deal with disloyalty on her part.
The holy Bible-Ephesians chapter 5:21-25] says “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior”.

Now, I wonder how this Issue of feminism came to an existence! In fact, who purported it ?who invented it? Who spearheaded the campaign for it?
As you can see how the two holy books ascribed to this fact, so also our primitive understanding of our fore father’s customs aligns with it.

In marriage, it is expected that Men should be responsible for day to day running of the business and social aspects of the family while the wife is expected to support the husband in all capacities in order to ensure a smooth running of affairs of their home. A woman may otherwise take the sole responsibilities of the husband in situations like: An Ill-health, death of the husband or financial Incapability of the husband most especially if the husband is lower than the wife financially.

One popular adage says “An agama lizard may have a little resemblance to a crocodile but that does not make him a crocodile, meaning; The fact that you are a woman, possesses the qualities of Men, does not make you a man. Even if you luckily become the president of a country, you are still a woman.

The Idea that there should exist 50/50 percent in marriage is not our thing as an African, it belongs to the western culture. It would cause more harms than good, which is why many marriages hardly last these days. In my opinion, this idea would be applicable in areas of politics,leaderships,trades and investments, Religious gatherings, professional affiliations, academics etc and not mutually related to marriages.

As a man, Heaven and earth recognizes you as a born leader. You you need to exercise some levels of control over your female counterparts as in situations like; choosing a leader, decision making and personal involvement in social related issues. But we shouldn’t forget these women are not to be segregated or Marginalized at any instance.
The fact that Men are claiming utmost dominance over women is the reason why Feminism came to an existence.

Some men have become an object of ridicule because of their inabilities to wake up to the challenges that surrounds raising a family which is why some women who adapted so well to these situations are the ones proclaiming this issue of 50/50 in marriages.

Leadership positions, political positions, government functionaries should not be limited to men only but there should be women involvement also.This will give room for equity and gender balance in the society.

In summary
Women are not expected to have same percentages of responsibilities and decisions in marriages. They can be leaders in other sectors and governments functionaries.

Men should strive hard not to lose their self-worth as the head of the house. The well-being of wife and children are key responsibilities.

Helynn Adeyemi Ademola
30:06:24.

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