Rambo Akpan

If you have friends who support you AGAINST your spouse or partner whenever you discuss issues about your relationship with them, you are obviously in the wrong company.

It's a matter of time; these friends will assist you in tearing down your home or scattering your relationship.

A good friend will not support you even if you are the right one.

They will rather encourage you to go back and reconcile with your partner.

Even when your spouse is naughty, stubborn, and unyielding, a good friend will give you sound counsel, hold your hand in prayer, and pray with you for your relationship to work.

He or she will not malign your partner with you.

Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at ALL times…”

This is one of the litmus tests to know a good friend. They will look out for your well-being and will always watch your back.

They know you and love you enough to tell you a constructive truth even when you don’t want to hear it.

They will tell you to go beg your partner even when your spouse is the wrong one. They would volunteer to join you to apologize.

If you must discuss your challenges with your friends, use a proper approach by telling your friends to pray with you rather than reporting your partner to them.

When you adopt this approach, it shows that you value your relationship or marriage and you want it to work.

Then, learn to pray for your partner.

Before talking to your friends about your partner, first, talk to God about your partner.

You will notice that the more you pray for your partner, the more peace you'll feel and the less you will complain about them.

It's extremely difficult to criticize or malign the person you're genuinely praying for.

Your friends can either help you make or mar your relationship or marriage. A good friend will never join you in tearing down your relationship.

No matter who you are, the day you talk negatively about my wife is the day I will begin to avoid you.

If your committees of friends are people who do not commit to your relationship or marriage, please change them.

When you change your team and your approach, your life will follow a new and progressive direction.

Proverbs 13:20 says,
"If you want to grow in wisdom, spend time with the wise. Walk with the wicked and you’ll eventually become just like them."

There are some people out there struggling with their relationships and they are waiting for you to join them. If these set of people are on your list of committee of friends, your relationship will suffer harm.

I pray you will be wise enough to make your relationship work by being selective with your committee of friends.

MINISTRY AND MARRIAGE.

Don't bury your ministry in your marriage.

If God gave you a ministry your partner is not aware of nor agrees with after explanations, go ahead with the ministry until the light shines enough for him/her to see.

If she/he never sees it all through life, go ahead with the ministry all the same.

Don't become unfruitful in ministry because of marriage.

Don't become unfruitful in marriage because of ministry.

Each has its place.

None should be used to destroy another.

God planned them to complement each other from their separate realms.

BUILD YOUR MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK:

As we all know, marriage is a sacred bond between two individuals who have committed themselves to each other for life. It is a partnership that requires love, patience, and dedication to making it work.

But just like any building, a marriage needs a strong foundation to stand the test of time. And that foundation is none other than Jesus Christ, the solid rock upon which we build our lives.

In Matthew 7:24-25, Jesus says, "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock."

Similarly, when we build our marriages on the rock of Christ, we are building a foundation that can withstand the storms of life. We are building a foundation that can weather the highs and lows of marriage.

So what does it mean to build our marriages on the rock? It means placing our faith in Jesus Christ and making Him the center of our relationship. It means following His teachings and using them as a guide for how we treat each other.

In Ephesians 5:21-33, the apostle Paul talks about how husbands and wives should relate to one another. He says that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. And wives should submit to their husbands as they do to the Lord.

This may sound outdated or even controversial in today's culture, but when we understand these teachings in the context of Christ's sacrificial love for us, we see that they are not about power or control, but about mutual respect and selflessness.

When we build our marriages on the rock of Christ, we also have the assurance that we are not alone. We have the Holy Spirit to guide us and strengthen us when we face difficulties. We have a community of believers who can support us and pray for us.

So today, I encourage you to examine the foundation of your marriage. Are you building it on the rock of Christ? Are you following His teachings and allowing Him to guide your relationship? If not, I urge you to make the necessary changes and start building your marriage on a solid foundation.

Remember, a marriage built on the rock can withstand anything that comes its way. May God bless your marriages and keep you always in His loving care.