Rack City Rovers FC

PLAYER PROFILE

Name: Simon “Lugsy” Cromarty
Number: 7
Seasons with Rack City Rovers FC: 4
Position/Role: Manager
Previous Clubs: Taieri College XI, Taieri Cricket Club
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Following what has been described as a p**s poor performance on and off the pitch last season Simon “Lugsy” Cromarty returns as gaffer for his fourth straight season at the helm of Rack City. Despite looking the part in his two-piece Hallenstein’s suit and matching football boots, it all went pretty pear shaped early on last season for the man crowned New Zealand’s Biggest Hero 3 years running. With the initial loss to Frankton FC in Rack City’s all important season opener Lugsy could be seen throwing his toys and storming off to manage Fanta Pants FC in a similar manner to how he put in a career ending tackle on the team’s gazebo the previous season following the loss to University C in their opening game. Lugsy would begrudgingly return later that day having tried his luck managing all teams possible to a somewhat welcoming Rack City who had found themselves under the confident direction of assistant manager Ben “Yellow Thunder” Young in the interim. But it was not only on the pitch where Lugsy found himself to be a divisive and incompetent figure, as he would later go on, like some sort of rockstar, to wreak havoc in the teams accommodation by cracking a TV, leaving a spew/toothpaste combination in the shower for the rest of the team to clean up and hiking it out of there to sleep with two of the teams groupies, much to Tim “Pleb” Dunn’s disgust.
Fortunately for Lugsy the players and fans of Rack City alike are pretty forgiving and will allow him to see out his indefinite contract in the hope that he may, in his own words, “charge on and charge strong”.

PLAYER PROFILE

Name: Aaron "Cooked" Corkhill
Number: 23
Seasons with Rack City Rovers FC: 1
Position/Role: Centre Back
Previous Clubs: Mosgiel, Coastal Spirit FC, Marlborough Mariners
Similar to: David Luiz

Much like Arsenal’s recent transfer window, Rack City were particularly quiet this year and had their business done pretty early on. With manager Ben “Yellow Thunder” Young employing the Arsene Wenger only signing “top, top qualitee” policy, Rack City were able to pick up both Tom Kindley on a free and Aaron “Cooked” Corkhill from fellow Mosgiel rivals The Plainsmen.
Aaron comes off the back of a pretty disjointed and injury plagued season where his minutes rivalled those of Abou Diaby. However also like Abou Diaby when fit, Cooked is a powerful and commanding presence at the spine of the Mosgiel prem’s and it’s these sorts of performance that saw him impress the confident eye of Ben Young.
In previous seasons Corkhill has found himself amongst the mature figures of The Plainsmen and it’s a bit of a talking point to see how he will make the transition to the disorderly and poorly organized Rack City. Reports of his drinking performance at the recent Mosgiel AFC prize giving were particularly favourable from fellow Rack City teammate Dr. Bradshaw and it’s been suggested that if he can carry this run of form on into the three day bender we should be seeing a successful debut season for Cooked.

Player Profile
Name: Andrew “Molesy” Miller
Number: 24
Seasons with Rack City Rovers FC: 2
Position/Role: Conversationalist
Previous Clubs: CRT Dunedin Social Club
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Bio: Andrew will give the Alexandra Sevens another nudge this year and could be the surprise package of the group as he looks to step out of the sporting shadow of younger brother, Ben.
Andrew warmed up for the weekend with a respectable performance on AFL Grand Final day which included some nudity, something widely accepted by those worth knowing at the annual event up Central.
His footballing pedigree leaves a lot to be desired, a brief stint with the Taieri College 1st XI in 2007 is hardly anything to boast about and if Morgan and Jesse have anything to do with it, he may find minutes on the pitch hard to come by.
Loud footsteps and constant sighing aside, Molesy should go well this year.