I write

𝓘 𝓹𝓻𝓪𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝓬𝓪𝓵𝓶𝓮𝓻...

That storms will never visit in my weakest moment,
That anxiety will never be more controlling than my will,
That sadness will never be bigger than joy,
That fear will never be as blinding as darkness,
That grief will never be too heavy to bear.

I don't pray for life to get easy.
But I pray that I will always see the light;
And if the path becomes difficult and dreary,
that I always remember where it will lead me;
And if my mind tells me to give up,
and my soul gets exhausted along the way,
that I always find an anchor to keep me steady.

But I know I have no control of life's natural course-
So I pray that the storms always remind me
That in the midst of it all-
no matter how strong,
no matter how frequent,
There is a God that holds me
And will never let go.

𝟿 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎, “𝙼𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚢 𝚙𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜.” 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚘𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚐𝚕𝚊𝚍𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚜, 𝚜𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙲𝚑𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚝’𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚊𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚎. 𝟷𝟶 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚢, 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝙲𝚑𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚝’𝚜 𝚜𝚊𝚔𝚎, 𝙸 𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚜, 𝚒𝚗 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚞𝚕𝚝𝚜, 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙𝚜, 𝚒𝚗 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜, 𝚒𝚗 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚜. 𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚔, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐. (𝙽𝙸𝚅)
𝟸 𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚊𝚗𝚜 𝟷𝟸:𝟿-𝟷𝟶

"𝙲𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝚞𝚙𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙻𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙷𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞;
𝙷𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚗."
𝙿𝚜𝚊𝚕𝚖𝚜 𝟻𝟻:𝟸𝟸 (𝙽𝙰𝚂𝙱)

Overall, this year was a lesson.
And lessons are also beautiful blessings.

This year taught me about rejection,
loss; and getting lost.
I never thought I could cry as much tears that I'd cried this year.
I have felt every piece of my heart, my soul, my whole being torn harshly,
pieces I've never known existed.
This year taught me about sad endings and endless zig-zag roads.

I wanted the world to stop; or at least, pause.
I wanted the world to slow down because I was already drowning.
I was very sure I have nowhere to go; I have nothing else to pursue;
and I have lost one reason to see life as beautiful.

But this year also taught me that God is real.
Imagine waking up in daze not knowing whether you are in reality or in a bad dream.
Imagine questioning yourself repeatedly of why bad things keep on happening.
I was slapped with the truth-
that I am still living;
that this is reality.
And for my questions-
There were no answers...
maybe.
And the only thing I can do was to surrender;
To trust God.
Because my vision is limited
while He can see throughout the very end.

This year also taught me who my real friends are.
The ones who cried with me,
the ones who read beyond my silence;
The ones who prayed for me.
They weep while my heart was breaking;
And they knew I needed them so badly even without me asking;
No matter how much I concealed how devastated I was-
They just knew, they remained silent too,
but their presence is one of the things that kept me going.

It will be a very unforgettable year,
not in a beautiful way that I wish it could be,
But the grace of the Lord helped me.
Yes, life is cruel.
But still life is beautiful.
And in His time I know good things shall come,
tears of pain and sorrow will stop from falling,
regrets and self-condemnation will soon vanish.
And life will be beautiful again.
Soon.
Life will be beautiful again.

P.s.
In memory of our beloved dog, Jury,
who was a very good boy until the end,
Our hearts are completely broken.
Every time we miss you we'd look back to those eight beautiful years you gifted us-
the feeling of warmth while hugging you;
your scent whenever we kiss you;
the sound of your little feet walking on the floor;
your cute sneeze, your sweet gaze,
the lively wagging of your tails,
the way you bark when you either want food or want to p*e, or just want attention...
We will remember every beautiful thing about you.
So that in our hearts, at least,
you are still alive.

Letting you go was so hard.
But God knows more than we do.
And now, you can be as free and as happy as you want.

We love you, Jury.
[Sept. 3, 2017-Nov. 22, 2025]

12.19.2025
10:36pm