www.emerans.com

Whenever new friends ask me about sugar dating, they always talk about it in terms that are far too blunt... if not downright offensive.

I get it... The concept of sugar dating is difficult to explain in layman's terms - partly because there is no specific hard-and-fast formula for a sugar dating relationship. Each relationship is different, and each mutually beneficial agreement is different. Therefore, the entire concept of the "sugar bowl" (a term used to describe the community of sugar babies and sugar daddies) is a nebulous one that is hard to pin down succinctly.

That being said, I think it's best to review the proper, inoffensive terms (like "sugar bowl") that you can use to discuss the community, and the type of relationships being sought there, without giving anyone the wrong impression, or causing offense.

One thing is a constant: A sugar relationship is defined as a relationship where both parties agree that they will bring something to the relationship that their partner would not be able to get otherwise. How many traditional relationships (and even some marriages) can you point to where that isn't the case? You know the kind - where you look at the couple and say under your breath "Well, so-and-so got the better end of that deal."

Both people benefit from the relationship, hence the term "mutually beneficial arrangement." That's the socially acceptable term for sugar dating, and for the purposes of protection, clarity, and decorum, the terminology you use makes all the difference.

Sugar dating allows you to use different words, and a different social structure.

For example, it's one of the only places where you can use the term "no strings attached" (also abbreviated as "NSA") and not risk offending the woman you're talking to. I know, it seems like that one should be pretty universal, but oddly enough, the "real world" turns its nose up at the notion of mature adults engaging in relationships that are free of unnecessary commitments.

The world values relationships with "strings." You see it all the time - this pressure to progress every relationship into a constantly escalating ladder of commitment, with each level more restrictive than the last. Non-monogamous relationships are frowned upon, or dismissed as inconsequential "flings" or "one-night stands."

I don't know why a separate place had to be created for mature, independent people to engage in relationships that didn't have "strings attached." I'm just glad that it exists, and that I was able to find it.

Until next time, cheers!

Katy Emerans

There’s a trend in some of your feedback that I wanted to address, and it all just amounts to a minor communication breakdown. We’ll all be laughing about this in a few minutes, trust me.

I’ve personally seen a lot of profiles from prospective sugar babies that mention that they would like to, hypothetically, be taken to the opera, or to a gallery opening, or to a fancy restaurant. They say things like, “I appreciate the finer things in life.” They also misspell filet mignon.

Now, if you are not the opera-type, or have your own opinions on cuisine that don’t include tiny micro-portions, take note:

Do not dismiss these ladies out of hand.
Do not embellish your profile to make yourself seem like someone you are not.
Often, ladies use things like gallery openings and opera as examples of things they’re interested in doing for completely different reasons than you might think. For them, these are the activities they imagine when they think of rich, high-society, pampered, and well-maintained trophy girlfriends. They don’t salivate over the art of dance, but they mention that they want to be "taken to the ballet" because that’s what they imagine that wealthy, classy companions do. So they, in turn, want to do it. Blame the Kardashians.

This is not to say that they wouldn’t enjoy the opera, if given the chance. But the fact remains that neither of you can be sure that you won’t both just fall asleep.

Think of these requests as projections of an ideal: This girl got into sugar dating because she imagined herself in a nice dress, with sexy lingerie underneath, being taken to the opera by a wealthy older man, and being the belle of the ball. Imagine your sugar baby ideal… and the image you come up with may not be too far off from hers.

These are not absolute dealbreakers. They are not minimum requirements. At their core, the women on Emerans Agency benefits just want to feel taken care of. They want to feel spoiled, they want to feel flattered. They want to feel like money is being spent on them.

And if you are into opera, great! Take her to the opera. Enjoy yourself.

However, if what you’re really looking for is a girl that will go to the amusement park with you, and spend all day clutching your arm as you ride roller coasters, I guarantee you that you will find a girl on our website http://Emerans.com for whom that sounds like heaven on earth. Tell her you got seats to a private suite at the basketball game, and watch how she perks up.

Just don’t pretend to be something that you’re not. Because if you’re lying, and she’s speculating, you’re going to end up getting gussied up only to fall asleep in the middle of Verdi’s Rigoletto, or searching your plate through dim candlelight muttering to yourself, “Where’s the Beef?”

Until next time, Cheers!

Katy Emerans

It's me, Katy Emerans. You know I'm your pal, right? That I'm here to help you out? Because I am, and I need to tell you about some of the signs you may be sending to your sugar babies, or your potential sugar babies, without even realizing it.

All of these actions send a message, and that message is: "Proceed With Caution." Or even worse, "Move Along."

Sugar babies are, due to the nature of the internet (and let's face it, the nature of men in particular) particularly sensitive, and a bit apprehensive at least before she's met you and really gotten to know you. If could be seen as paranoia, but honestly... A little caution is commendable. Hopefully, with these tips, I can ensure that you don't let caution turn into a missed opportunity by avoiding sending the wrong signals.

Tardiness - If you've agreed to meet, text, call, or write within a specific time frame, stick with it. If you must miss an agreed-upon deadline, do it after you've built up enough capital to do it gracefully, when you've met her several times already. Tardiness shows a girl that you do not value her time, or your word, both of which can be deadly when you're trying to get an arrangement started.
Suspicion - The ultimate boner-killer. It's natural to have fears, and to be cautious. It's another thing to give them a voice when talking with a potential mate. I once had a girl ask me if I was a police officer after I told her the city I live in, which is a few towns over from the city in my profile. This one contradiction led her to be openly suspicious and start asking questions like, "Are you a police officer? Just had to ask." Which was followed shortly by "There won't be a bunch of people hiding in your hotel room to jump me, will there?" I responded by saying, "Well, you're not going to hide some cameras to take extortion pictures, are you?" And the conversation just sort of devolved from there. Suffice it to say, after we each had demonstrated our suspicions, it was really difficult to trust each other enough to think about hooking up, and we never did meet in person.
Little White Lies - See above. It all started with one part of my profile which wasn't exactly true: The city I lived in, which I wanted to mask a little bit for privacy. While this is completely understandable, even the tiniest of lies can spook a potential mate, who will wonder what else you're lying about.
Cancellation or Rescheduling - Especially before you've even met once. This demonstrates cold feet, or a lack of reliability, right from the jump. Keep in mind, these girls are looking for a stable, regular arrangement that they can count on. Sending these signals right off the bat will tell her that you're either too busy to count on regular meetings with, or that your interest is waning, and seducing you will be like pulling teeth. Either way, she'll probably go in search of a man who makes for a more reliable prospect than put all of her eggs in your basket.
So fellas, especially in the initial stages, always put your best foot forward. A girl will probably forgive some of these signals once you've been dating for a bit, but you'd never want to give the wrong impression during the initial trial phase.

Sincerely

It's me Katy -- And I think we should have a talk.

I know a lot of you are enjoying the "no strings attached" nature of sugar dating, and I'm happy about that. However, I feel obligated to point something out: Just because your sugar baby is benefiting from your relationship does not mean that you don't have to make an effort. Sugar dating is still dating, and should still be subject to a few commonly recognized forms of etiquette and common decency inherent in that. Here are a few things to take to heart:

Keep yourself impeccably groomed - Just because she's a sugar baby does not mean that she's a sure thing, or that she won't turn you away if you show up with unbrushed teeth, unshaven stubble, and a fresh layer of funk from your workout at the gym. That's just gross, and it doesn't befit a proper sugar daddy besides. Remember, the girls looking for sugar daddies are looking to be spoiled and treated well, not repulsed.
Do not treat her like an employee - Remember that this is still a relationship, in name if not in practice. Any benefits you provide to her should be treated as a natural extension of your generosity, nothing more. Treating it like a "salary" is not only inaccurate, it's just rude.
Keep it classy - Carry yourself with an air of maturity and style. Treat her with respect and always be complimentary and polite. Your sugar baby will notice, and rise to the occasion.
Stick to Your Word - When you make an arrangement, keep to it. Do not jerk her around, wasting her time. Don't cancel excessively. Remember that her time is as valuable as yours. And whatever you do... Keep up your end of the agreement. Be a man of honor and Withholding your generosity, especially when your sugar baby is counting on it, is cruel, and is almost certain to end the relationship. Also, it's just plain bad for the movement, amigo.
Remember, sugar dating is supposed to be fun, and honest, and mutually beneficial. When you're not out there treating these girls with decorum and respect, the only one who benefits is you... And even then, probably not for very long. These things tend to catch up to you. And as with just about anything worthwhile, you get out of it what you put into it.

Until next time, cheers!

Katy Emerans

It's me Katy -- And I think we should have a talk.

I know a lot of you are enjoying the "no strings attached" nature of sugar dating, and I'm happy about that. However, I feel obligated to point something out: Just because your sugar baby is benefiting from your relationship does not mean that you don't have to make an effort. Sugar dating is still dating, and should still be subject to a few commonly recognized forms of etiquette and common decency inherent in that. Here are a few things to take to heart:

Keep yourself impeccably groomed - Just because she's a sugar baby does not mean that she's a sure thing, or that she won't turn you away if you show up with unbrushed teeth, unshaven stubble, and a fresh layer of funk from your workout at the gym. That's just gross, and it doesn't befit a proper sugar daddy besides. Remember, the girls looking for sugar daddies are looking to be spoiled and treated well, not repulsed.
Do not treat her like an employee - Remember that this is still a relationship, in name if not in practice. Any benefits you provide to her should be treated as a natural extension of your generosity, nothing more. Treating it like a "salary" is not only inaccurate, it's just rude.
Keep it classy - Carry yourself with an air of maturity and style. Treat her with respect and always be complimentary and polite. Your sugar baby will notice, and rise to the occasion.
Stick to Your Word - When you make an arrangement, keep to it. Do not jerk her around, wasting her time. Don't cancel excessively. Remember that her time is as valuable as yours. And whatever you do... Keep up your end of the agreement. Be a man of honor and Withholding your generosity, especially when your sugar baby is counting on it, is cruel, and is almost certain to end the relationship. Also, it's just plain bad for the movement, amigo.
Remember, sugar dating is supposed to be fun, and honest, and mutually beneficial. When you're not out there treating these girls with decorum and respect, the only one who benefits is you... And even then, probably not for very long. These things tend to catch up to you. And as with just about anything worthwhile, you get out of it what you put into it.

Until next time, cheers!

Katy Emerans