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Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way

How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.

The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained in how we think about dating that it seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset

The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you to places you’d rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.

Maintain your standards

The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is to stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want, stay away. The people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

Beware of the handiest person

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, or even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.

Take time for yourself

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books.

Be gentle with yourself.

Even if you are not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can prevent broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.

Love Advice Relationship Problems Don;t Have To Be Hard To Solve

It’s one of the main topics of love advice: relationship problems. In fact, with all the tips and hints out there, you’d think solving problems in a relationship requires scientific formula you need a PhD to understand.
The reality is, though, when you catch problems early and use plenty of patience and fairness, there are only a few steps you need to take to get things straightened out.

Identify the cause

Sometimes the cause of trouble in a relationship is obvious. It might be problems with money, the kids, or a certain habit one of you has that really irks the other. A lot of the time, though, there’s just a niggling sense that something isn’t right. Maybe there’s less romance, less physical affection, and a feeling of growing apart. In cases like this, you’ll need to look a little deeper to figure out what the root of your problem really is. Knowing this will make it a lot easier to use love advice: relationship problems don’t all have the same cause.

Pick your battles

Give some serious thought to whether the problem is really worth bringing up. You may decide the fact that your partner routinely leaves wet towels on the floor or even occasionally pays a bill a day or two late isn’t something you want to rock the boat over. On the other hand, if something your partner does leaves you feeling hurt or rejected or is causing serious financial or social problems, it’s a good idea to bring the issue up. That way you won’t give resentment a chance to grow.

Time it right

If you’ve decided you really do need to talk about an issue, pick a good time (or at least not a really bad time). Just remember, when one of you is stressed out or tired is not a good time to start a discussion about a serious problem.

Don’t ambush your partner, either. Pouncing on them with a heavy issue just gives the conversation a confrontational edge from the outset. Instead of the old “We need to talk,” try something less confrontational like “Honey, do you have a couple minutes to talk about something?”

Be gentle

Winning is not be the goal here. The goal is improving—or in some cases, saving—the relationship. If one of you is impatient, harshly critical, insulting you both lose.

Of course, that doesn’t mean you need to talk to your partner like they’re a three-year-old. Just talk to them with the same level of respect you would
Although it may sound like “softy” love advice, relationship problems don’t generally improve when one partner is aggressive.

Accept your share of the blame

Overall, it’s better to focus on solving the problem rather than riding the “Who started it” merry-go-round. That said, you still need to accept that something about your own behavior may need to change, too. Listen to your partner’s side of the story with an open mind and be willing to negotiate fairly. Of course, you still need to keep your personal boundaries as far as not accepting physical or emotional abuse.

Although the steps above should help you work out most common problems, keep reading up on how to resolve conflict in your relationship so you’ll know how to handle any serious issues that may come along. When it comes to love advice, relationship problems are one of the hottest topics, so you shouldn’t have any trouble finding some good tips.