Audacious Courage for Life

What is Audacious Courage for Life?

It is the courage to face our truths— whether they are grand or utterly painful. In being audacious we can learn to live in freedom.

Join me on the journey. Here is a snippet of my story:

I was an angry parent many times. I wanted total control. I wanted to be the perfect parent. The perfect friend. The perfect wife.
Instead, I was overbearing. I was short tempered when I knew I failed or couldn’t control the outcome. My marriage was a failure. (Let alone the abuse.) My motherhood… I would do well and then, Boom! Completely flip the house upside down. Everyone in my path was due to suffer.
I hurt each of my children in the same ways and in different ways.
It haunts me. Moment to moment depending on the day. I think on the moments that I cussed at them. That I screamed at them while so frustrated.
There were moments, it affected the household deeply. I DID fail as a parent to my young children in these ways.
It doesn’t matter of any of the good memories or moments. It was tarnished by the hurt. I have apologized as the moments get brought up or present themselves.
There have been moments I would rather die then examine and address the hurt that was caused. Or debate running away or never being a part of their lives again. Not a self loathe, but a hatred and painful grief of my mistakes. It hurts and it always will.
I love my children. They are kind. They have listened to me apologize over and over. I still apologize as needed. I will forever be reminded and remember what I was as a mother to my young children.
The most beautiful gift I have now is that they have chosen to love me. They have chosen to move forward with me as young adults and allowed me to be a part of their lives. That is an honor and a privilege.
Do not ever take advantage of a child who is compassionate enough to give you another chance. They trust you to do what is right and to keep trying. Perpetual failure can only occur if we don’t grow. Keep trying. Keep growing and learning to love better and healthier.
We are truly blessed to be their parents. Our children are truly an inheritance of the Lord.

https://youtu.be/nZ9D4GyfrfE?si=J_CFDMHSpHfu33y9

SYMPHONY

Sometimes it's hard to breathe
All these thoughts are shouting at me
Tryna bring me to my knees
And it's overwhelming
Darkness echoes all around
Feels like everything is crashing down
Still I know when my hope is found
And it's only You and
… Ooh, You say You're working everything for my good and
Ooh
I believe every word
… 'Cause even in the madness, there is peace
Drowning out the voices all around me
Through all of this chaos
You were writing a symphony, a symphony
… And even in the madness, there is peace
Drowning out the voices all around me
Through all of this chaos
You were writing a symphony, a symphony, oh
… Tune my heart to Your beat
Let me be Your melody
Even when I cannot see
But You orchestrate it
Even when the dark surrounds
You'll never let me drown
I know that my hope is found
In the name of Jesus
… Ooh, You say You're working everything for my good and
Ooh
I believe every word
… 'Cause even in the madness, there is peace
Drowning out the voices all around me
Through all of this chaos
You were writing a symphony, a symphony
… And even in the madness, there is peace
Drowning out the voices all around me
Through all of this chaos
You were writing a symphony, a symphony, oh
… Yeah, I wanna truly know if You compose beautiful music though
From all my unruly notes
The distance is dissonance, move in close
Now I see erased the scales from my eyes
Then played the scale in my life
Chaos played off with a chord in accord
With the source prevailing through strife
… And I've tasted suffering
I've been embraced by the painful buffering
I've been bound by doubts so loud right now
But a melody is made when you play these rusty keys
So we all gotta get pressed
Tuned up like instruments
But I know
All of life's tempo is set
Whenever we remember this
… That even in the madness, there is peace
Drowning out the voices all around me
Through all of this chaos
You were writing a symphony, a symphony
… And even in the madness, there is peace
Drowning out the voices all around me
Through all of this chaos
You were writing a symphony, a symphony, oh
… Ooh-whoa, ooh-whoa, ooh-whoa, a symphony
Ooh-whoa, ooh-whoa, ooh-whoa, a symphony
Ooh-whoa, ooh-whoa, ooh-whoa, a symphony
Ooh-whoa, ooh-whoa, ooh-whoa, a symphony

Symphony (lyrics) ~ Switch (feat. Dillon Chase) I LOVE this new song! Prepare for an audio and visual celebration! You folks voted in favor of creative videos, so I'm doing my best to learn new skills. ...