Rugby’s Rescues

😂😂😂

Dear Diary,

Foster Mother has spent weeks hand-delivering meals directly to my stomach. Frankly, I assumed this was how life worked, because I am obviously royalty.

Then this evening, she appeared with something new. Naturally, I launched an independent investigation. I approached with confidence, as all the other cats around us seemed excited. I don’t remember exactly what happened after that, but witnesses rumor that I went face first into this substance, stepped in it, sat in it, and then attempted to wear it as a full-body moisturizer.

The situation escalated quickly, blurring my memory. Could this be real life!? I’m still hungry, and now also cold and wet. Foster Mother mumbled things like, “weaning kittens is my least favorite” and “time for a bath”. I did not consent to a spa day. Blasphemy.

I would like to formally state that I was the victim in today’s events, start to finish. On the bright side, I am apparently “such a big girl” now. 🙄

0/10, do not recommend.

Until tomorrow,
A Very Offended, Volturi.

Happy Caturday!