Embrace Therapy

ARE YOU TICKLISH??? 🤣

It seems that the universe was telling us that we needed to make a post on the topic of ticklishness because of how frequently this has come up in our practice.

While being ticklish can be fun at times, especially when you're in the mood to be silly (something that can enhance your s*x life), at other times it can be something you and/or your spouse can feel is a hindrance to your intimate life.

Think about it:
You're with your spouse and you're in a zone, enjoying all kinds of pleasure and then you get ticklish. It can feel like it disrupts the flow of the intimate moment.

So here are some strategies that can help.

Let us know which one works for you!!

*xtherapy *xtherapist

We've been focusing a lot on our miluim couples lately and a big theme that has come up is DISCONNECTION.

Though the miluim experience is unique, the experience of disconnection is something that many of us can relate to on different levels.

How many of us have walked passed our spouses and felt simultaneously missing, longing, resentment, loneliness, and sadness because we can't remember the last time it felt like we were an actual couple?

How many of us feel we live parallel lives that are focused on surviving the day to day grind?

How many of us long for real connection and fun and depth with our spouses, and conversation that involves really witnessing and being there for one another?

Disconnection can look different for different couples. Sometimes it's loud and sometimes the quiet is deafening.

Sometimes it's felt more by one partner than the other.

Sometimes it's obvious and sometimes it happens slowly over a long period of time that neither spouse knows why they are feeling sad or off.

What most people don't realize is that every relationship experiences disconnection.

Just like balance in life, it's not something we ever achieve and then keep forever; it's something we constantly work to maintain. We lose life balance and then we become aware that something's not balanced and then we work to create more of it.

Similarly, CONNECTION is something we must constantly maintain. When we become aware that we are disconnected that's when we can start making choices to connect more.

One of the most important parts of this process is recognizing what are signs of disconnect are. That's precisely when we can actually do something about it!

So, what are your signs of disconnection?

"I forgive him." ~Erika Kirk

We all watched Erika deliver her heart wrenching speech memorializing Charlie. There was something so powerful about how she looked up, closed her eyes, and with choked back sobs uttered the words "I forgive you," addressing the man who murdered her husband.

And I think for many of us watching, we wondered, HOW?

How can a woman who had her whole life with her young husband and adorable children ahead of her, forgive the monster who cruelly, unfairly changed her life forever?

When I watched her speech, I couldn't help but think about the hostages and their families and how they have been grieving.

Were there any speeches or hespedim about forgiveness? Is that the Jewish way? Is that the mental health way? Do we need to forgive to move forward, to heal?

For Jewish people across the world, it is the time of year where we are knee deep in states of reflection, introspection, remorse, accountability, growth, and atonement.

Forgiveness naturally is a big theme now.
We seek forgiveness from those who we hurt and grant it to those who hurt us.

But for so many of us, granting forgiveness may not be what is best for us.

Does an abused person, for example, forgive their abuser in order to heal? Is forgiveness the only way to move forward and feel a sense of peace?

The mental health world is divided on this. Some believe forgiveness is a must to heal, and there are countless books on the topic. Others think that's unfair and puts unnecessary pressure and angst on the hurt person.

I love the Torah concept of forgiveness which actually has 🅾️ requirement to forgive a person who has not repeatedly and wholly made a proper amends. The repair that is required isn't just 👄service, it's a process involving:

1️⃣ a deep felt sense of regret

2️⃣ specifying the wrongdoing and acknowledging the impact of the wrongdoing

3️⃣ creating and implementing a thought out, concrete, realistic plan of action that will ensure that mistake never happens again.

Pretty intense! And pretty real!

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