Haley Rochelle

This might step on toes but oh well.

I have never been that mother.

You’re the one I’m talking about… one who uses bitterness as a reason to keep a child from their father.

The one who confuses being hurt with being justified.

The one who calls it “protecting my peace” when really it’s punishing the child.

Our son has always come first.

Not my ego. Not my anger. Not what people thought. Not some court battle. Not child support drama. Not custody games.

We have never fought in family court.
We have never dragged each other through that system. We have never used our son as leverage.

And honestly? I don’t even know what family court is like because I never put him through that.

Was everything perfect? No. Were we perfect? Absolutely not. Did we both have healing to do? Yes.

But our son was never going to pay the price for adult wounds.

And let’s just be honest. A lot of this alienation stuff is not from wisdom. It’s not from healing. And it sure isn’t from Jesus.

Because Jesus does not tell you to weaponize a child because you’re still mad.

Your child is not a pawn. Your child is not a paycheck. Your child is not a tool for revenge.
Your child is not responsible for making you feel powerful. Heal before your bitterness becomes their burden.

Because one day that child grows up and they will know exactly who made it harder than it had to be.

Nine years ago, if you would’ve told me we’d be sitting in church together , I probably would’ve laughed.

We were together for 10 years, but we didn’t have God as our foundation. I wasn’t a believer, and although he grew up around church, he wasn’t walking with the Lord either. We both hurt each other. We both fell short. We didn’t value each other the way we should have, and honestly, we didn’t understand marriage as a covenant the way God designed it to be.

But God.

He saved me first. He started changing me, convicting me, healing me, and teaching me what surrender actually looks like. Then I watched Him start working on our son’s heart too. Adrian used to think this whole “Jesus thing” was weird. He would question it, critique it, and didn’t want to go to church because his dad didn’t go. He was scared that if his dad didn’t believe, then his dad was going to hell, and he didn’t want to be part of something that made him feel like he was losing his dad.

And now, somehow only God, and by lots of intercessory prayer, his dad comes to church with us. And what’s wild about all of this, we have been doing Bible study together as a family.

So don’t tell me God can’t move. Don’t tell me He can’t soften hearts. Don’t tell me He can’t restore what people thought was too far gone.

I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know what God is doing or what this will look like, and I’m not trying to force my own outcome. I’m just praying for healed hearts, surrendered hearts, and restoration in whatever way lines up with God’s will.

Because even here, even after all these years, God is still writing.

I feel like someone needs to hear this today.