Wreckless Creative

If you imagined that you were in this image, where would you find yourself?
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I would be standing in the foreground at the beginning of the trail, focused on the furthest mountain peaks ahead. My intuition informs me. My goal is fully developed and envisioned. I see the big picture and feel what it’s like to live in it. But, you see, I’m a big dream, big plans girl. I know exactly where I am headed. And mostly I am a details person, too. When the path is clear, I am able to calculate and execute the precise steps that take me from the foreground to deep into the background where I know I must go. I organize and follow my route diligently. Like when I knew I wanted to become a doctor, I researched exactly how to get there, did all of the internships and volunteering, took all of the right classes, did all the right research, and achieved all of the good grades.
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But other times, the route is unclear. And even though I am so passionate about the end goal and KNOW that I belong there — God is calling me to be there — I am paralyzed because I cannot see how to get from the place I am to that sweet spot I am meant to be living in. Have you experienced this? What about? It’s sometimes awkward and painful to be walking through a transition. And that’s exactly where I’m at right now. I have been a full-time photographer and adventurer for 12 years now, and that is my comfortable spot. But I know everything learned and experienced up until this point calls me to be a healer and an artist. And I’ve been meaning to share more, but honestly, it’s felt so awkward trying to explain what I do not yet know. So that is my trailhead and you see now, that is my mountain. And I am moving toward it, albeit awkwardly and curiously and cautiously. Thanks for walking alongside of me, because I know I am not alone.

I wonder about all the disarmed ways we are when we’re alone and no one is watching, and how beautiful it feels — some of those times — to notice how comfortable it is to be living in our own flesh.

Even though I hadn’t prepared for it, James arrived into my life as a gift set — and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It has been seven months only, but I already love this little boy fiercely. The biggest heart beats inside of his four year old body, and he lights up any room. Never have I experienced such sweetness as his (I fell in love twice this year). And now we are blessed to give Liam a little brother. Can a heart contain so much love? I remember my mom telling my a long time ago that she feared that she wouldn’t have enough love for my sister yet to be born, but the second she arrived into the world, her heart grew to accommodate it. I’m excited to watch their relationship grow. Liam already talks to my baby belly everyday, “Hi, baby! It’s Liam, your big brudder.” 😭 And the baby kicks back. Growing up, as much as we argued and wrestled, I cherish having a sibling to do life with, and am still grateful for that relationship today.
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Recap: in case you missed it, I’m having a baby boy! For all you 90% girl guessers, I was one, too, and we were completely shocked with the news.

This is the only full-priced clothing purchase I’ve made for my little one growing in my belly because what this onesie says is so near and dear, and you have no idea how big of a HALLELUJAH this miracle babe is to this mama. L
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