Paloma Schultz - Relational Resilience

Too many people, myself included, stay longer in relationships that have already ended for the sake of the kids

The understanding that despite the separation, divorce, and new relationships you will always be together as co-parents is what matters.

Your child is part of you both. Inside her, you’re together, and for her you must be supporting and loving her, even if the marriage is over.

No, they don't.

Your parents are bigger. They came first and had a whole life before you arrived. So you must be able to see that and give them the force they have.

Often parents demand from their kids a lot after becoming adults, which can be tasks, attention, or specific things they need to do to pay back so much they have done.

What is happening is that they are trying to get what their parents didn't give them. They should look back or inside for this resource, not at their children.

When you give too much to your parents and feel like they need you, you are probably out of place in your Family System, parenting them, leaving your spot empty, and in case you have a child not caring for who needs care.

And lately, as you are looking back, you can't move forward to your life and goals.

If this is your case, a Family Constellation Session can help you to do a different movement. Sometimes knowing the issue isn't enough, and feeling in your body can help you to make a different choice.

A great example is that person that sees someone crying and rushes to get the tissue. They can't stand another person crying, so they want to stop them asap.

So many parents do that with their child, even teachers. Instead of help kids to cope with emotions they just want to shut them down. “Stop crying, you’re such a big kid don’t cry, big boys don’t cry” and so on.

Yes, kids and adults are allowed to feel and show emotions (in a healthy way) and if this bothers you check with yourself why instead of run to get the tissue.

Those are just a few of the benefits you can have in a individual or group constellation

But I always say, to really understand you need to experience.