Shillo Amari

5.17 Little warm-up flow between teaching some impactful privates at on Sunday

I’m so thankful to be doing what I love in a beautiful space. And the fact that I get to return to teach workshops with and at the end of the month will be a full circle moment. I’m truly thankful for for being such a boss babe and being the sweetest and most welcoming. And honestly I’m just filled with gratitude that I’ve felt supported since before I even left the States to now.

This Gemini season is bringing something airy and light to my moon and I can even feel it in my movement. Dancing to some of my fave Gemini artists like even before the season came, has been fueling me to keep pushing. The sheds stung, but now I have room for freedom.

The shackles of my old job are now gone officially, and receiving the termination while here after back and forth since September have felt like a release. It didn’t even hurt since they stopped paying back in January and I’ve been fending for myself without them anyway.

I get to get my whimsy back and dance, guide and stay present. Even here I chuckle because I look like Gumby, or like Bubbles went into Buttercup’s closet 😅. And even once the music is over, I just go back into my charismatic self and refuse to take everything so seriously.

It’s work doing this. Creating, admin, feeling the world crumbling underneath our feet… maybe too dark 👀. The thing is there’s so much beauty still around us. I’ve received so much kindness from the communities here, including strangers off the street, trains, Tube, service and more. I’m choosing to focus on the good this season and focus on what needs to get done. And even though I have taken away access of myself from some, I have no regrets. I’m so much better receiving and giving reciprocal love, energy and kindness. And I can’t wait for what and who these next two weeks will bring. 🥰🫶🏾🫂

5.4 Had time for one freestyle after teaching my last Plush Tricks class at before leaving for the UK. I let my playlist choose my song for me, and funny enough ended up dancing to this days later in the UK as well. That time having no influence on the playlist, and yet it came back to me.

At this time I was stressed and still worried about dog and home care, and questioning all my decisions. Was nervous about being accepted somewhere new, and hoping that everything will work out for the best. Also having feels about missing my students, as they are the reason I do what I do and actually enjoy it. And I just needed one good dance in the space as it would be over a month before returning.

V&C and are the reason I finally made the plunge to move to Chicago last year. I knew I would finally have a pole home to create, guide, feel safe and be able to grow. And without this anchor, I would not have been able to leave so many black holes I left. It hasn’t even been a year here yet, and I feel like everything in my life has changed for the better. A lot of the process being painful and hard, while also affirming and now a breathe of release. I’ve been on medical leave from my corporate position since last September, no pay status since January and a gap around the winter holidays previously as well. I know what it feels like to be discarded, forgotten and taken advantage of. And it feels nice to know I’m no longer surrounded by people or spaces who would tolerate that.

This time away is for me to reflect, be inspired, learn, guide and expand. I’m open to connecting again because I know there are good people and spaces that I’m being gravitated to, and them to me as well. There’s so much art I want to bare witness to and aligned creatives to connect with. And I’m just open to what life is bringing my way.

This is the first time I’ve left for a time and didn’t feel like I was running away from my life. I truly love the community, home and relationships I’ve built back home. And being away from my fur babes had me in tears the whole Lyft to the airport. I’m not used to feeling so raw and exposed, but it me