Chasing Unicorns LLC

February 26, 2025 I ran my first speed workout after a slow return from fibroid surgery back in January. I remember it being bittersweet because on one hand I was so happy to be back feeling more like myself again but I knew I was about to start up injections and medications for my first IVF cycle just a couple days later and knew that it would be time to hit pause again. I was excited to be able to make progress on our family building goals after a very long emotional lead-up to get there (18 months of TTC on our own, 4 failed IUIs, and then a surprise fibroid surgery) but sad to be losing my main outlet of stress relief and something that had kept me “me” through all of the tough stuff.

Fast forward to a year later and I’m sitting here having not run a single step in over 9 weeks (for happier reasons which helps immensely) and my entire perspective on it has changed. Of course there are days I miss lacing up a pair of shoes and heading out to get breathless on a speed workout or running alongside my teammates on long run day, but I have found “me” through other outlets. I still get to be a part of the running community right now through coaching, watching indoor professional races, and keeping up with my favorite running podcasts. Apart from running I’ve found joy in being able to move my body on the bike (I’m not good by any means but a good playlist on a Peloton ride while breaking a sweat makes me happy!) and continuing to lift weights. I take a lot of peace from easy mornings started on the couch sipping a hot cup of coffee with my cat on my lap, and afternoon walks with my dog who loves getting in the extra steps.

I no longer fear the road back to the sport because I had to come back to it 4 separate times last year after breaks. I’m actually pretty excited for who that new athlete will be! It will be hard work, but if looking back a year has taught me anything, it’s that this will all feel like such a blip in time in the grand scheme of things (oh, and that women are so strong and powerful of course! 😉).

This loop has seen me in a lot of different phases over the last couple of years.

I used to treat myself to a run on it after fertility clinic appts with the office nearby to have something to look forward to after something not very fun.

Sometimes I’d be in good spirits full of hope after an appt and the loop would be a celebration of what my body was doing.

Sometimes I’d be fighting back tears while running it after getting bad news, hoping it was a sunny day so they couldn’t be seen behind my sunglasses.

Today I got to run it after an obgyn appt at 18 weeks with a healthy baby along for the ride.

This November is so much brighter than last after finding out around this time that I’d need an unanticipated surgery in 2025 before being able to continue with IVF plans. One thing that hasn’t changed is that I’m still running through it all, something that helped keep me grounded over the last several years of ups and downs.

I don’t like to give advice on this like, “everything happens for a reason” or that “it’ll happen when it’s meant to” because that was incredibly unhelpful while I was going through my own journey (and still in things upcoming I haven’t talked about), but there is hope on our darkest days, even if we can’t always see it in the moment.

Things you realize after a whole year of rolling with the punches as it relates to training.

-The marathon is special but you can go an entire year+ without running one and still feel like a runner. You might even find it’s kind of pleasant.
-Life will go on if you have to take a day or two or heck even a month off of training. Might not be ideal but the consistency you’ve had for years before will help you bounce back quicker than you might expect.
-You begin seeing how toxic some thought patterns can be around rest because of always having the crutch before of people saying, “oh she’s so disciplined” and leaning on that when sometimes taking a pause is what’s best for your body.
-You might start to see your priorities changing, and it’s ok. It doesn’t mean your goals are never going to happen, it might just mean they aren’t taking up as much space in your life as they used to. It can be a good thing.
-You stop planning the rest of your life around when you’re going to run or work out and plan the working out around the rest of your life. It might even help you show up better for those around you.
-These changes don’t have to be permanent and running can be what you want it to be in different phases of life.

Between a myomectomy surgery, multiple IVF egg retrievals, IVF transfer, and now a pregnancy, this year has resulted in my most “inconsistent” training on paper I’ve ever had since I started running, yet I feel like it’s exactly what I needed as a forced reset. I absolutely love running and I’m so glad I have this as such a big part of my life, but the thing is it was only ever supposed to be “part” and somewhere along the way I lost that a bit. I’ll get back to the marathons someday, but for now I’m enjoying what it means to be Katherine on and off the roads.