Post Modern Parent

Sometimes we can overcomplicate parenting or feel inundated by the differing amount of parenting choices, decisions, and styles.

When in doubt, here’s a great resource to have in your back pocket to help ground you.

If your child consistently feels safe, seen, and supported, then they are going to feel secure. Studies show that when children have secure attachments with their caregivers, they tend to lead happier and more fulfilling lives.

So how can you use this framework in your child’s daily life?

SAFE: Your primary job is to keep our child safe and do no harm. That means not using fear tactics, punishment, or threats. You want your child to feel connected to you and for your home to be a haven.

SEEN: Truly SEE your child. Be curious about their inner lives, observe them and take time to get to know them. This requires slowing down and opening up space to let them show you who they are (not who we want them to be).

SOOTHED: When your child is going through a difficult time, be with them. Even though they still might suffer, they know they are not alone. This also teaches strategies to help calm down and self-regulate.

SECURE: This results from consistently doing the first three.

Grab Dan Siegel’s refrigerator sheet on this! 👇
https://drdansiegel.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/POSU-Refrigerator-Sheet.pdf

Have you found yourself saying “no, no no!” over and over again with your toddler and still getting the same results?

Here’s a quick positive discipline tip on getting out of impulsive reactions.

Do not underestimate the power of;

✨Narrating the behavior you see

✨Validating and acknowledging their experience and feelings

✨Setting clear limits and boundaries

When a child feels understood and heard, it can magically deescalate a lot of tantrums and problematic behaviors. Now doing this doesn’t mean they still won't push boundaries, protest, complain, whine (that’s their job as they’re learning).

However, when we connect, show empathy and validate their experience while still holding our non-negotiables, we’re providing just the right mix of love, support, and healthy boundaries.

✨Reframing Thoughts and Mindful Parenting ✨

It’s so easy to get caught up in our child’s behaviors without taking a moment to check our ourselves and understand where their behavior might be coming from. This can be especially challenging if we are running on empty or stressed out.

Practicing mindfulness in parenting means that we bring awareness to the moment and to our own feelings, rather than getting hijacked by them and responding to our kids in ways we don’t like.

As we’re bringing more awareness to our own feelings, we then have more space and time to reframe those initial thoughts and responses.

Having more perspective and viewing our child differently can shift the entire mood or trajectory of the day, as well as restoring the foundational relationship and connection.

Here are couple reframes which might be helpful to you in this moment!