Akula

terrifyingly vast and unknown— the sky, the people we love at the many intersections of life whose paths unfold perpendicular soon after,

the cutting depth of pain and pleasure absolutely avoided through a mix of fear and intuition —

the sudden awareness of the cliff’s edge of those concepts and feelings —

like the sudden claustrophobia of knowing you’ve irrevocably signed away the next 10+ hours to fly in a finite tin can,

but it’s okay that you’re by the window because the glimpses of clouds and cityscape pointilism are enough between shows and sleep and apple juice to keep you til landing

Lapaata ladies (FINALLY) finished on this flight, a Korean movie called pretty crazy whose depth I 10000% did not expect AT all,

(too dehydrated to cry, awake enough to take stills and write in my notes app on 0% brightness)

rediscovering the world of , laughing so hard at that I could barely say chai, thank you to the flight attendant, and checking off long hair tattoos and pretzels to my chandigarh neighbor

ONCE AGAIN who gafs (I do) I thought I played quite softly and safely but the phone still picked it up — I’d love to belt but through the next few times I’d relearn (and just: learn, period) some more chords, progressions, and asymmetric coordination between R&L and my voice — so that cowboy cossack ride (from the blue piano book?) and Mickey Mouse are not the only complete(ish) songs I can play by heart

Guru Vandana is a celebration of the guru and student relationship of knowledge transmission, academic and spiritual development, and many more layers of meaning wrapped into three hours

I wandered Hello World for twenty minutes without feeling the resonance of the right gift for two of my professors — and I walked out to finally experience and actually take part in a mini market outside of the bookstore

As I walked and saw the hibiscus (I’ve been considering making pet #1 a hibiscus tree for a while now), then cacti, and finally the flowers — I suddenly felt several clicks as the familiar feeling of having found the right rationale and emotional connection and feeling infused in the right gift for the right person all fell into place

I’m slow to buy a souvenir or write the intro of an essay and quick to use a big theme like light and dark and night and day to guide my attempts at art, because I want a meaning that makes sense to me and feels right

That could mean artificially forcing or needing meaning where it’s best to not over interpret it (like the Hector figurine after skipping the music box, and learning his Hamartia later) — but it also means that when it does click — it feels especially right and well settled in my heart

That also extends to the random pack of marine creature cards I found after two separate failed cvs trips, being logged out of amazon, and randomly turning the box in acme to find I was right — and using the octopus I’ve learned to see far more beauty in, and the turtle whose 3 century purview I’ve come to appreciate much more.

I always wondered why the rabbit didn’t just take a shorter set of naps in between, maybe polyphasic sleep isn’t the answer