Jana Rupnow Counseling

What an incredible parents' weekend at Rhode Island School of Design! My heart swells with happiness to witness my daughter becoming the fullest version of herself.
Her "sauna" model was chosen for the RISD Archiect department's triennial exhibit, called Entanglements. There's a gorgeous description in a photo posted in the carousel and you must read.

I couldn't help but think of the current state of things. It brought tears to my eyes. Somehow this exhibit gave me comfort, hope, even beauty, in the chaos. It showed me how everything is interconnected. How we build and destroy things, how we reorganize and re-assemble. It's like spiral dynamics.

The second piece she created, is a chess board, handmade with concrete and sculpted pieces. The project was to create a model that represented an area they toured in Providence. The chess game board represents the way people in an underprivileged urban area make a space work for them. The uneven concrete, the obstacles they must work with. Some pieces were permanently affixed to the board, showing that the game they play is often unfair, putting them at a disadvantage from the start, changing the nature of the game. When you touch the board, the unfinished concrete irritates your hands, making it uncomfortable to play. Yet you find ways to play anyway because that's the human spirit. Creativity finds a way.

If it feels like there's nothing you can do right now, do the arts.

Big win!! ⭐️ 🏒 The Stars earned their way to the Western Conference Finals!

It sounds like your daughter is starting to explore and make sense of her story in the way that young children often do—through imagination and emotional expression. When she said it was a secret or that her dad had died, it likely wasn’t about hiding anything, but more about trying to understand where she fits in the world and what it means to have a “dad.”

You did such a beautiful job by staying curious and open, asking her if she said that because it might feel nice to have a dad. That kind of response, gentle, non-judgmental, and validating, is exactly what helps kids feel safe to keep talking.

If you’re feeling unsure, you could ask her about "a secret dad" to explore her understanding further. If you want some extra support navigating these conversations, talking with a therapist who understands donor conception can be a really helpful next step. Not because anything is wrong, but because these moments matter and it’s okay to want guidance as your child’s understanding deepens.

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