Kid Pastor's Notes

Persevering in Communication
Some parents lose their desire to communicate on a deeper level because their children reject their opinions, feelings, or initiative. That hurts. It may take a while for your children to see you’re trying to connect in significant ways. You may have to discipline a child for insensitivity or meanness, but continue to explain to your kids what you’re doing. Children often resist love when they need it the most.

To help you persevere in difficult relationships where you feel like you’re not making progress, consider Colossians 3:22–24 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

When you try to go deeper in a relationship, you may not experience many rewards at first. Keep going, knowing you’re doing the right thing and pleasing the Lord. Look to him for approval instead of to the relationship for rewards. That provides inner strength to continue on even after you feel like quitting.

Communication in any relationship takes work. It’s nice when someone will listen to you and allow you to pour out your thoughts, hopes, and feelings. Listening is a servant task requiring concentrated effort and creativity to get around the barriers and mine fields that can come up. Do the hard work in this area, though, and you’ll see positive results.

Parents, the BEST way to make God seem bigger, more loving and more real is to make Him a part of your regular routine, and the most logical place to start is with what comes out of your mouth. Try not to think of your "spiritual" time as something different as your "parent" time, but think of your spirituality as something that infuses every other thing you do! This is the cure for the home and church.

SCENARIO #1 - EMILY GETS AN EARFUL FROM A FRIEND!
A week before school started Emily invited Kate to go shopping for school clothes. Once the two girls were at the mall, Kate confessed sadly, "Since my daddy lost his job at the power plant, my mom says I can't get new clothes for school this year. For the first time ever I will be a thrift store dweeb, just like ______ (she names two other kids they know). Emily realizes this awkward position she is in. Her budget is only half what it was last year, as her dad is cutting back because of fear of losing his job as well! Emily planned carefully to buy some sneakers and just a few clothes. She can interchange them with stuff she has from last year, at least the stuff that still fits her. No problem. Girls are great at this! She believes though that her teacher at church may tell her to make a sacrifice and buy something for her friend. BUT SHE DID NOT LIKE KATIE'S THRIFT STORE COMMENT AND MAKING FUN OR TWO OTHER FRIENDS! The girls that were mentioned by name were actually very nice, and they had to get clothes at the thrift store last year because their dads were the first ones to lose their jobs at a big plant that was not doing so well. Maybe Kate should learn not to be so snobby before she gets any help from Emily.

Scriptures to help Emily (and your family) decide what to do: Proverbs 16:18, Proverbs 27:17, Galatians 6:3.

Emily Should (rate the answers; the best should be #1; the least likely should be #4)
~ Share with Kate. Even though Kate hasn't outright asked Emily to share, sharing is always the right policy; the Bible says so.
~ Not share with Kate because Emily's own dad may lose his job and she could be at the thrift store as well!
~ Not share with Kate because she did not cause Kate's problem and isn't involved in it. Why should she make a sacrifice for something that has nothing to do with her?
~ Not share with Kate because the "thrift store dweeb" comment implies that she can and should learn a great lesson here. Emily should be kind and polite, but keep shopping for her own things.

REFLECTIONS
One of Jesus' most famous statements is "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). It's not always easy being a great friend, is it? Why? Because a great friend allows friends to learn tough lessons.. without being mean and judgmental. A great fired would not help stand in the way of Kate getting thrift store clothing, as Kate needs to learn some humility and mercy on the girls who she made fun of. While the Bible does encourage us to share, withholding can sometimes be an even more excellent path! If Emily and others give too heartily to a heartless person's wardrobe, they may actually be "enabling" that person to keep a judgmental attitude.

Most Christian Response:
Emily should (4th option is best) not share with Kate because the "thrift store dweeb" comment implies that she can learn a great lesson here. Emily should be kind and polite, but keep shopping for her own things.

Now, put this lesson to work in your own life and help your kids do the same!

FOR THIS GENERATION!
PJ