Well Being Psychotherapy

Breathe, you are alive.

Wisdom from Jack Kornfield
Dear ones,

One of the deepest illusions we live inside is the belief that we must become someone else before we are worthy of love.

More healed.
More confident.
More accomplished.
More spiritual.

But listen carefully:
You were never meant to earn belonging.

You were born into it.

The oak tree doesn’t apologize for growing slowly.
The river doesn’t question its bends.
The moon doesn’t worry about being incomplete.

And yet human beings spend entire lifetimes trying to correct their existence.

We think we must be fixed before we are welcomed.

But wholeness is not something you achieve.
It’s something you remember.

In meditation, people often tell me they feel “too messy” to be peaceful.

Peace doesn’t come from being perfect.
It comes from being honest.

You are allowed to be unfinished.
You are allowed to be human.
You are allowed to struggle and still be holy.

The point is not to perfect yourself.
The point is to perfect your love.

With metta,
Jack

*This article was inspired by themes from my new book out now, All In This Together: Stories and Teachings for Loving Each Other and Our World.

“Always come back to the body. The reason people get stuck on the healing path, a major reason, is they believe they can heal by understanding things intellectually. I doesn’t work like that, it needs to come back to the body. Stay aware of the body, what is happening inside.”

Gabór Mate, MD

Regulating your nervous system when you feel activated or dysregulated

To come back toward regulation, unhook awareness from preoccupation with thinking and return to the body

Redirect your awareness to neutral or positive sensations in the body

Gently touch your hand or heart, feel the body, drop into the body

Feel the points of contact with your seat, focus on the sit bones

If you feel activated in fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode, practice paced breathing for 5 or 10 breaths: take long, slow breaths and exhale for twice as long as the in-breath while noticing the points of contact of your body in the seat

Ask the activated part to give you breathing room and space so you can be with it. Ask other parts to step back, so your Self can be present to help

If you are able to have some curiosity or compassion toward the upset part, let it know that, find out what’s wrong and kindly reassure it (RAIN practice can help)

Connect with a loved one if you need more soothing and support