Neurodiverging

Are you, like me, someone we could lovingly label "consistently inconsistent?"

When I was hosting our open house for the Aligned Momentum Circle on Monday, one of our attendees had a great question which boiled down to:

"I’m worried I'll join the Circle and then I won’t stay consistent."

If you're worried about the same thing, here's my response...
..Humans are not machines. We are inherently inconsistent because we are adapted to respond to a set of inconsistent environments. So, we're inconsistent on purpose, by natural design, and that's not something we need to shame ourselves about.

How does that apply to the Circle?

One of the core assumptions inside this space is that your consistency will fluctuate.

You are not expected to show up perfectly or maintain the same level of engagement all the time.

The focus is actually on what happens when you don’t show up, or when things fall off.

How do you return? How do you re-engage without shame? How do you adjust instead of abandoning the process entirely? That’s a big part of the work.

So if you're concerned that you “might struggle with consistency,” that’s actually something this space is designed to support, not something that disqualifies you.

Comment "Momentum" and I'll send you the link to learn more about the Aligned Momentum Circle. Early bird enrollment closes Friday night.

When I was a kid, I built these wooden 3-D dinosaur models. The were finicky and took forever for me (an undiagnosed dyspraxic), and I loved them. I was generally thrifty and saved most of my money, but I felt barely a speck of guilt at plopping down money on a dinosaur.

This picture's from Amazon, but I swear I had almost that exact pterosaur* over my bed for years. I painted it teal. The stegosaurus lived on my bookshelf next to my Tamora Pierce novels, and the parasaurolophus lived in my trophy cabinet with many other special objects that were not trophies. I think I had a triceratops too, but sadly don't remember where in my room it spent its life.

Another big piece of this story of child Danielle: I was constantly late with homework, messily dressed because I didn't have a laundry system, forgot to eat breakfast unless my younger sister made and handed me a bagel in the morning... so I got told I was lazy, unmotivated, distracted, just not trying, basically every day.

So, I grew up believing it! "I, Danielle, am unmotivated, because I must be, because everybody says so." This story didn't start to shift for me until I got my autism diagnosis (the first of many neurodivergent labels, actually - I think we're up to 6ish now?) when I was about 30. That's 30 years of believing I was an unmotivated person, because it was what I was told by almost every adult in my life over and over again.

But look at those model dinosaurs! Think about how much focused attention, care, and planning goes into making one of those, especially for a dyspraxic, nearsighted 12 year-old with incredibly poor visual memory and sensory challenges.

I was never unmotivated. I was undiagnosed (and therefore unsupported), constantly dysregulated, struggling with interoception difficulties, and masking my way through.

Now, I know the truth. I'm motivated. I'm the kind of person who can get things done... if I'm supported. And, I bet you are, too, simply because you're here, trying to learn, trying to implement, trying to make things change.

You're motivated, but you maybe aren't supported yet. One of the most useful questions people like us can ask is, “What kind of support can help my nervous system stay steady enough to keep going?”

Over the next few weeks I want to share a little more about what I’ve learned from working with hundreds of neurodivergent adults about regulation, support, and sustainable momentum.

Because once you start looking at change through this lens, a lot of things that used to feel confusing begin to make sense.

*I know a pterosaur's not a dinosaur technically, but "dinosaur" is a convenient word!

Go to Amy if you need help with the puberty or sexuality chats!

How to Talk to Neurodivergent Kids about S*x Learn how to talk to your autistic, ADHD, or neurodivergent child about healthy sexuality, puberty, reproduction, relationships and so much more. This course is specifically created for parents of neurodivergent children and addresses their specific (and special) needs.