Humble R Ranch

ON HYPERVIGILANCE, FAWNING & GIVING OURSELVES WHAT WE GIVE OUR HORSES

As some of you may know, a big focus of my work the past few years has been specifically working with horses who have trauma and helping to restore a sense of safety in the nervous system.

These horses have led the way for my own continued healing, as well – my own liberation.

I’ve had a lot of realizations lately about how 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑦 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝑠𝑝𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑢𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑠𝑑𝑜𝑚 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑠𝑒’𝑠 𝑏𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑖𝑚𝑢𝑙𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑒𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓, 𝑎𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙.

This is why I believe that holding space for our horses requires us holding space for ourselves, too.

If we are not able to offer this to ourselves, I think we will feel impatience, resistance, agitation, and burn out when it comes from doing it for our horses.

Which is why listening to our horse’s bodies oftentimes requires us to listen to our own bodies, too – and perhaps grieving all the times we have not been able to. 𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑤𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑟, 𝑝𝑢𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑟, 𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑟, 𝑝𝑢𝑛𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑟, 𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑟, 𝑚𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑟, ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑟.

We must reclaim the holy wisdom of our bodies in order to reclaim the wisdom of the horse’s body. Of the Earth’s body. And horses can show us how.

After all, what other animal has had her body so thoroughly abused and meticulously shaped into an object and tool of oppression and violence? I believe she holds unspeakable wisdom through her lived experience of the horrors of this.

I believe many women already sense all of this, the unique connection that exists between women and horses – our bodies share resonant stories.

My horsemanship approach comes from the core belief that everything is everything else – and connecting what has been disconnected, the sacred work of Re-Membering what has been split, and weaving ourselves back into land that holds us, remembering the rivers flowing through our veins, the holy waters of our wombs, the stardust in our bones.

I think this is part of the magic horses have to teach us – that we can so oftentimes miss when we approach this relationship as horses to be ‘fixed’ or prioritizing what we have to teach our horses over becoming a good student.

After my last post, I’ve had a few comments discussing hypervigilance and the fawn response as it presents in people. I thought this might be a good time to share an article that came up recently from a somatic psychologist, Ailey Jolie, whose work I have found to be incredibly resonant lately.

I hope this stirs something in you as it did for me