Compassionate Birth

Hello! 👋 It's been a long while since I posted here. Many of you probably started following me as 'Rebecca Rambo-Birthkeeper' back when I began writing about the premature birth of my 4th child. I've birthed again since then, and as you might expect, that birth was also powerful and a story worth sharing (as all births are).

Yesterday I sat at this seat and had a very powerful interview with for her podcast, Speaking Light Into Abortion.

I told the story of the death and birth of my baby, Arrow Sage. Our story together was a meant to be journey of intentional pregnancy release and it was a journey that catapulted me into a space of deep self-reclamation.

I haven’t spoken about it yet, because it was so precious and tender. I have been sitting with the medicine of that birth for over 2 years, and with the overturning of Roe v. Wade, I felt that now is the right time to share this wisdom.

Abortion is birth. And birth is always sacred. When we birth, we are offered an opportunity for transformation.

The episode will be released on Tuesday and I hope that our story reaches the hearts of those who need it most in this strange and unsettling time.
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You'll notice that the name of this page has changed. It is my intention here to begin sharing inquiries and explorations around the ideas of supporting all birthing families well and what it actually means to meet the journey of birth with compassion. How can we, as a collective, reduce harm and access the inherent transformative nature of birth?
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I have two other podcast interviews I've done in recent months that I will link in the comments below! Please check them out and share your thoughts. It is the conversations we have that spark the changes we all desire!

Consent actually matters
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Touching someone’s body, but especially sensitive bits like genitalia, without explicit consent is not within a practitioners scope of practice ever. It literally does not matter what kind of letters are behind your name or what role you have in your clients/patients experience or why they’ve come to see you.

Asking for permission when someone is already in a position of vulnerability does NOT equal consent. Telling someone they need to comply with something because of policy is not consent. Leading the questions with love by saying things such as “for the benefit of your baby we’d like to do a vaginal exam. Is that okay?” is also NOT consent.

In birth gaining full consent for a vaginal exam during birth, for example, sounds like having discussions about vaginal exams (risks, benefits, when they may be of use to the laboring person etc) with the client fully clothed, well before the onset of labor, in a place where they feel safe and respected. You have a full discussion, you ask about their concerns and overall feelings about vaginal exams, offering ideas for alternatives, explaining exactly how the exam will happen etc. Most importantly you assure them that they NEVER have to consent to a vaginal exam and that the choice is FULLY theirs, regardless of why you are wanting to do one.

Then, if it seems like a vaginal exam may be useful in labor you must first return to those initial conversations, be fully transparent, leave room for TRUE choice, etc before ever “gloving up”. You must gain a full “yes, I want you to do a vaginal exam.” You May even need to pose the question, offer the information, answer questions, and then leave the room while they make their decision.

If they consent, you again describe the process in detail. Then you ask again, “are you ready for me to begin? I will start by putting my gloves on.” Then you announce EACH AND EVERY STEP prior to doing it. You go slow. You gain consent over and over. “My fingers are at your opening. Are you ready for me to put them inside?? Yes, ok. Now they are inside and I am reaching to feel your cervix and your baby’s head. Does this still feel okay? You can tell me to stop at any time?” You notice their breathing. You watch their body for signs of tension. You attune to their experience and you are always, always willing to stop at the first moment of consent being withdrawn.

You also talk to the baby!! You let them know who you are, what you’re doing entering their body (because moms body is their body too), you ask them for consent, you let them know when you’ve made contact with them too... “hi baby, I feel your head. You’re doing such a great job. I’d like to see what position you’re birthing yourself in. I’m checking in to see how your moms body is opening and if there’s anything I need to be aware of. Do you need me to know anything baby?”

Afterwards you stay with them. You stay in the space. You offer a hand on their hand. You take breaths and feel your own body. You ask them if they’d like to know what you felt. You thank them for consenting to gathering this information from their body.

Why is this not common practice?

WE CAN DO BETTER!! We HAVE to do better!!