Darling Nikki

Police shootings of unarmed black and brown people will not end unless you vote.

As someone who was a long-term fan of Michael Jackson, it’s taken me a long time to unpack the heavy reality of the Jackson family dynamic, but I want to talk about La Toya Jackson, because she might be one of the biggest examples of a family "black sheep" trying to end a cycle.

In the 90s, La Toya blew the doors off the family secrets. She spoke about the severe physical and sexual abuse by her father, Joe, and even recalled hearing her mother Katherine plead, "Joe, not tonight,” but the moment that completely alienated her was when she spoke out about Michael’s behaviour, stating that an adult sleeping in bed with children, regardless of age regression or mental health struggles, was simply wrong and not normal. She was absolutely right, but because she spoke against the family system, she was cast aside.

I was watching a video today of a former bodyguard for Michael, noting she never visited or called Michael. I guess insinuating she didn’t care about him. When you look at the trauma, it makes total sense why she kept her distance.

Yes, she would still sometimes refer to her father or family as "wonderful." People need to understand the psychology behind abuse though. It is NOT abnormal to love your abusers. Human beings are wired to seek love from their family, and when that same family harms you, it creates a massive internal conflict. You can simultaneously love someone, crave their approval, and still recognise that what they did was deeply damaging.

La Toya was dealing with a massive, repetitive cycle of generational trauma. Breaking that cycle usually means you get labeled the villain, the liar, or the "black sheep,” but sometimes, being cast out is the only way to ensure the cycle stops with you.

I do believe she said her ex husband made her say those things; however, in my own opinion I feel she just wanted her family back. We’ve seen generations of people keeping it within the family to maintain a connection.

Do I believe the accusations ? I can’t say definitively,” THIS is what happened,” but what I can say is , the Jackson family is a family with a lot of generational trauma and abuse: sexually, physically, and mentally and it is not uncommon for victims to perpetuate a cycle of abuse.

Great post! Thank you!! It’s true, I didn’t have anyone to celebrate these things with me IRL.

And frequently some of us had partners who wouldn’t support or would even get in the way of us getting to these milestones. I used to.