AACT Arizona

Many parents feel pressure to teach their child to "calm down on their own," but self-regulation doesn't appear overnight.

Your child first learns how to manage big feelings through co-regulation. When you remain calm, provide support, and help your child move through difficult moments, their brain is learning what regulation feels like.

Over time, those shared experiences become independent skills.

From both an ABA and speech therapy perspective, emotional regulation is a skill that develops through practice, support, communication, and connection. If big feelings are impacting daily routines at home, our ABA and speech therapy teams are here to help children build communication, coping, and regulation skills through play and connection.

Bedtime can bring out big emotions for many children and there’s a reason why! For young children, moving from one activity to another, especially from play to bedtime, can feel confusing, overwhelming, and out of their control. Their brains are still developing the ability to shift gears smoothly, especially when they’re tired at the end of the day.

That’s why bedtime often becomes the “perfect storm.” It combines multiple transitions, lower energy, separation from caregivers, and a loss of control all at once.

In those moments, tantrums aren’t about defiance. They’re a way of communicating that something feels too big to manage alone.

The good news is that small shifts can make a big difference: predictable routines, gentle warnings, and adding connection before separation can all help your child feel safer and more supported through the transition.

What part of bedtime feels the hardest in your home right now?