Marie Rossiter - Writer

I actually completed 2 crochet hexagon blankets this year! I started in the 2024 temperature blanket in January and followed through until New Year’s Eve! I got behind a few times and December was rough to keep up with lots of stuff going on. The second blanket is Cailyn’s — same pattern, different color scheme and it’s for Feb 7, 1998 to Feb 6 1999: her first full year. I started hers in late July and finished it a few days before Christmas! I’ve never followed through on a single project like this—so these feel like a miracle LOL. For 2025, I’ll make one for Erin for her first year of 2002. Colors are picked out and I’m just waiting for the yarn to arrive in the mail. If you think you can’t do something, try anyway. You might surprise yourself!

Avatar the Last Airbender is a huge part of our family history. We got tickets for in concert as soon as we heard it was coming to the . So grateful we could enjoy this together!

The lower brain voice is powerful.

The sting hits hard even when I recognize that the negativity she dumps out is 100% garbage.

I have an ongoing battle with the scale. My intelligent brain knows it is merely a point in time, a tool in my arsenal as I refocus on my health and well-being. It provides data and a means to track progress.

But for some reason, it triggers my lower brain voice.

Every time.

After so many years of this struggle, I believe I will one day not have so many thoughts about a number on the scale.

Today is not that day.

When the scale goes up two days in a row despite my best actions, I second guess myself.

I have repeatedly said (both to myself and out loud) that weighing myself is not about the number yesterday or today. It's about the ones next week, next month and next year. That's where the truth in data lives.

But I'm living in the right now, and it sucks to see that number go up when I feel like I don't deserve it.

And that right there...the feeling of earning a loss or a gain...is at the core of my emotional dysfunction with my body and my eating habits.

My rationale side knows I cannot control a box on the ground day in and day out. It also knows I am in the early stages of regaining control of my behaviors and thought processes regarding better self-care.

And I want the scale to reflect my consistently improving healthier habits and mind work.

Unfortunately, that's not how it works, and yet again, I'm faced with the disconnect of two realities.

Both can be true. I don't have to like it.

This is not a new feeling; I have been down this path so many times that I believe I can do it blindfolded.

Previously, though, I have allowed my discomfort with both truths to cause enough fear and frustration to shut down.

Today, I will face the feelings and the discomfort that lies there. It may tell me something I don't yet know or understand.

Maybe I'll never wholly desensitize myself to the scale. Maybe I shouldn't.

I think I just want to be able to live a little more peacefully with its role in my life.

I'm not there yet.

Adding "There are no gold stars" to my life soundtrack.

There are No Gold Stars (But There’s a Lot of Self-Imposed Pressure) Lesson #20 of 40