Peace Through Understanding Psychological Services

Do Your Healing Work.

Why?, you may ask. If I am functioning and can manage my emotional rollercoasters, why do the work? It’s hard and all I am doing is dredging up old pain. I am better off managing that pain, pushing it down and moving forward.

Hmmmm. Well that does sound tempting doesn’t it. The problem with that approach is that emotional pain is hard to successfully bury. Here’s why. We want our pain to be like a rock. No matter what size or shape the rock, we can dig a hole, drop the pain in and cover it over. We will ignore the additional pain we create when we cover our pain with defenses like addictive behaviors, angry outbursts, or isolation, to name a few.

Pain isn’t like a solid rock. It's more like water. We dig our hole, drop the pain in and then it seeps and shifts and moves around. When it resurfaces, we may not recognize it or understand where it came from. And it always resurfaces, often impacting more areas of our lives and in a more urgent way.

If I am walking around with a big hole in my chest, you as my friend, spouse, child, whatever, may mention the hole and suggest I go get medical help. I may refuse and tell you it is nothing really and I have it under control. You may push me but at some point you would quit mentioning it or avoid me altogether. No one wants to be around someone who is bleeding all over them and acting like nothing is wrong.

When we are wounded, we bleed on others. We worry them. We affect them negatively. They may try to mention it and make suggestions about getting help but if that is met with resistance, the relationships we treasure mutate to accommodate the wound.

Do your healing work. It is important for your relationship with yourself. If you cannot do it for yourself, do it for the ones you love and care about. You are negatively impacting them if you do not.

Soooo.... There is a lot going on. Christmas, impeachment stuff, family stuff, kids, so much. How to keep your sanity? Humor. We ultimately are funny. Sometimes I think of my life as a feeding ground for a sitcom. We do some funny bits unintentionally in my home. When it is getting tense, at my best times, I step back and try to find the humor which I then share with the ones co-struggling with me! It is an art and can backfire, but with practice, you can often lighten the atmosphere and improve the perspective.

Try to laugh. Laugh in the mall, cause we are funny. Laugh in the home, cause we are funny. Laugh at work, cause we are funny. Laugh in the chaos, cause we are funny. Even in the pain, yes in the pain, find the ridiculous and smile.

Earth is a funny place. I mean what the heck is this all about?!? Funny earth, funny people, funny circumstances.

I send love. I send smiles. And sometimes I laugh at you and at me.

As I search for my "second act" I am reminded that each journey is individual just as each individual is complicated. Motivation, mindset, values, and the things that matter to us as individuals interact in ways that we try to but cannot completely understand. Today as you work your path I send you comfort that you are not alone and encouragement that even when you are struggling, there are those of us also struggling and striving. Be blessed. Be a blessing.

Hey y’all, I am working on a new podcast with a friend. Watch here for more updates!