Fly Beyond the Moon

|| Looking Back, Looking Forward || •••

March 10th, 2016 was an unseasonably warm day; that morning my then 7 and 5 year old babes would excitedly point out the blades of new green grass popping up through the layers of brown and yellow ground as we walked to the bus stop.

Later that day, with the sights and smells of spring on its way, my OBGYN would feel a lump in my left breast during a routine, albeit, much overdue checkup.

Two weeks later, spring rain would be falling outside the window of my office when I would get the call that I did in fact have breast cancer.

That next weekend, we would prepare for Easter much like we are this weekend; picking out our favorite flowers, decorating the house, preparing our traditional foods, and keeping faith that we would all just keep taking steps forward, on the good days and the hard ones.

Reflecting back on that day, and the days that would follow, are a way for me to continue to process my cancer journey; a reminder to pause and know that your experience is just that: yours.

A reminder, that just like the weather, our lives can change without warning; but, if you look closely, those changes can be as wonderful as they were hard.

💫 Some eight year reflections as I look back:

• It’s been eight years, but I remember that day as if it was yesterday. The emotions come and go, and still remain a mix of lingering fear for a relapse and unparalleled gratitude for an experience that has helped shape who I now am.

• The amount of time we have to grieve our hardships is indefinite; there is no end to when the timeframe should end, or even begin to get easier.
Trauma is something that can take many forms, and is different for everyone; at the same time, we can all relate to it in the same way.

• Our level of trauma is not any worse or better than someone else's level of trauma and no comparisons should be made.

• This path has allowed me to connect with so many that have walked the same, or a similar path, and I am forever thankful for each person who has walked into my life (or walked closer) because of cancer.

• Finding joy amongst trauma or a difficult experience is ok; celebrate the fact that your journey has brought you a new sense of clarity, growth and strength that you may not have otherwise found.

• We can look back and feel grateful for all we have overcome, and we can also look forward and feel grateful the past made us who we are today; strength can always be found in both.

🔑 Sharing our stories is our connection to others; you never know who will resonate with your journey, just by reading the words that you share.

Wishing all our friends and family Easter love, as we all take steps forward together, even on the harder days 💛

{{ spring }} •••

"Spring has always been by one of my favorite seasons, falling second only to the crisp days of Fall.

It's the season of new green grass, blooming flowers and the time to plant new seeds, both in our gardens and in our lives.

Spring 2016 was a season filled with what would one year later be referred merely to as a "blip".

It was the season of my cancer diagnosis; the season that my cancer treatment would be decided.

It was the season a pool full of tears would be shed by not only myself, but family and friends.

It was the season full of fear, questions and hearing answers we didn't want to hear.

It was the season of test after test; overjoyed with positive results only to be knocked down with negative ones.

It was the season I would cut my long hair in preparation to lose every single strand.

It was the season that would lead to the following eight months filled with chemotherapy and radiation.

It was also the season I made a choice.

It was the season that I decided this "blip" called cancer would not define me, nor would it stand in my way of being the person I always wanted to be."

✍🏼: Fly Beyond the Moon I Samantha Higgins Tiano

|| world cancer day || •••

Soon to be eight years since I heard the words “you have cancer”.

Curls once again cover my bald head, radiation burns are now healed, and the scars that remain from surgery leave behind a reminder of all that was endured, and all that was overcome.

But beneath the surface, that’s where the raw emotions live. Memories that become constant reminders of where I have been, and just how brave and strong we all can be.

Constant reminders that life can change in a blink of an eye, and the importance of living a life of no regrets; a life of staying strong - both mentally and physically - so that you are prepared to handle the inevitable hard days.

Cancer has brought me down the path least expected and has taught me irreplaceable lessons that will never be taken for granted, nor felt with any ill will.

Cancer has brought new strengths, and new fears. It’s taught me about compassion, and an understanding that we can withstand and overcome situations with the right tools.

Cancer has brought courage, and has shown me that our trauma does not have to control us, or define us; it has brought hope that anyone else on this journey will see and experience the same things I have, and come out with strength, compassion, courage, and love for the road we have traveled. 💛
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