Poly Coach Eliza
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Helping you to have the BEST relationships of your life!
10/16/2023
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10/13/2023
There has never been a better time to try an open relationship.
A February poll found one-third of Americans (34%) describe their ideal relationship as something other than complete monogamy.
That translates to every third person you see at the store at least dipping their toes into some form of open relationship. Yes... count them!
I want to introduce you to my colleague Mark Allen. He’s hosting
20+ top coaches, educators, and podcasters for this complimentary masterclass series on how to open your heart and mind to
alternative relationships, understand the variety of options and start a compassionate and respectful dialog with your partner.
Curious?
And you can get access to all of it by clicking the link in the comments.
Today I took a short course (through Relational Life Therapy) on working with couples through infidelity. I find that often couples decide to give polyamory a try after one has been caught cheating. It's almost a way to keep the affair going while not losing the marriage (or committed relationship). Since I'm not one to say "NEVER", I'll just say, this rarely works out well.
One of the points the therapist shared is that you can't fix something that is still going on. So, expecting your partner to heal the wound of betrayal while you are still with the side person, won't work.
Another point from the class was that total open communication is required to rebuild the trust. That means open phones, open texts, open emails. Open everything! No second phone. No hanging out with your friends or staying at work late, without clear and near constant communication with your partner. Yeah, this sucks, but it is the price we pay for choosing to cheat rather than talk to our partner about our needs. If you do this well and rebuild the trust, it should be temporary. It MUST be temporary for you both to get to a place of healthy relating.
The final point I will share is one that really hit home for me, as I work to heal my wounded and abandoned inner child...
The wise adult you doesn't have affairs. Wow!
This class brought up some feels for me, as my ex cheated on me for years, and then we opened up, and he kept cheating. Even poly people cheat!
What do these points bring up for you?
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