EMDR With Jill

Parenting is hard for so many reasons.

Sometimes, though, what makes it feel even harder isn’t our children’s behavior. It’s that we’ve been running on empty ourselves.

When our own needs go unmet for too long, we naturally have less patience, less emotional capacity, and less flexibility. Before feeling hopeless, try pausing and asking yourself:

“What do I need right now?”

Meeting your own needs isn’t selfish. It often gives you more capacity to show up as the parent you want to be.

❤️ Have you noticed that parenting feels different when you’re well rested, supported, or taking care of yourself? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

nstead of trying to make your anxiety disappear, try getting curious about it.

One question I often ask in therapy is:

💭 “How are you trying to help me?”

Anxiety often has a protective purpose. When we understand what it’s trying to prevent, it can open the door to deeper healing.

This way of thinking fits well with Internal Family Systems (IFS) and often complements EMDR therapy by helping us identify the protective patterns the nervous system developed in response to past experiences.

Have you ever stopped to ask your anxiety what it’s afraid would happen if it didn’t show up?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

Work with me: www.solution-counseling.com

But sometimes anger is protecting us from despair, hopelessness, grief, or helplessness.

When we understand what an emotion is trying to do for us, we can respond very differently.

What do you think anger is trying to protect people from?

Many parents believe that if they stay calm, their child should calm down too.

But sometimes a child can remain upset even when you’re doing everything “right.”

Why?

Because staying calm and helping a child feel understood are not always the same thing.

In this short video, I explain why calm parenting can sometimes leave a hurting child feeling alone and what to do instead.

Sometimes choosing between two meaningful things can feel like losing a part of ourselves.

Sometimes anxiety is less painful than feeling powerless.

And a lot changes when we stop asking,
“How do I get rid of this?”
…and start asking,
“What is this trying to do for me?”

People are often surprised by how intensive therapy actually feels.

There’s often a sense of slowing down enough to finally hear yourself clearly.

The room can start to feel strangely honest… emotional… deeply human.

Sometimes there’s grief.
Sometimes relief.
Sometimes awe at realizing how much of life has been spent surviving.

And sometimes people leave realizing they don’t want to go back to living disconnected from themselves anymore.

It’s hard to fully describe until you experience it.

Most people try to get rid of symptoms before understanding what those symptoms might be protecting them from.

Sometimes anxiety, anger, shutdown, perfectionism, or overthinking are trying to solve a deeper emotional problem.

When we begin understanding what’s underneath the symptom instead of only fighting against it, healing often starts moving much faster.

Sometimes healing starts when we ask not ‘What’s wrong with me?’ but ‘How is this reaction trying to help or protect me?’