The Newspaper

Readers! The Newspaper has a problem that you (yes, you!) can fix. Put simply, we need distributors. My sources tell me that only a few West students were seen handing out Issue One, and The Newspaper wants to reach as many people as possible.

If you're interested in distribution, send an e-mail with the code word "ferrets" in the subject line to [email protected].

In tomorrow's Issue 9, The Newspaper celebrates the wonders of technology! Where would civilization be today without such brilliant creations as the Roomba and videos of cats?

Kittens Riding a Roomba Vacuum This is a hilarious video of kittens riding on one of those automatic vacuum cleaners.

In the last 30 days, has the administration at your school pressured you into taking a lengthy, mind-numbing survey full of awkwardly personal questions? If so, you have won a free copy of Issue 8 tomorrow!

The Newspaper is just as excited for the Super Bowl as you are, but being a West High publication, The Newspaper never actually got around to hiring a sports staff. Fortunately, everyone's favorite EDitorialist, our own Ed Holmes, has volunteered to tweet live reports from the game tonight. Enjoy!

Twitter Sign up for Twitter to follow Ed Holmes (). All the latest EDlines — my thoughts, ideas, and musings. [Note: for comedic purposes only.]