The Mocking Sun

The first letter in our open call to candidates comes from Elect Hanna Demerath-candidate for Mt Pleasant City Commission.

Dear Mocking Sun,

Why trust me…

First, I’ll tell you about myself. I’m currently a stay-at-mom with two young kids in the public school system. I grew up in this area and went to Shepherd Schools. Later I moved to Grand Rapids for college and stayed there for over a decade. In 2019 I moved my family back to Mt. Pleasant to be closer to my parents and siblings. It is my children’s future that motivates me to get involved and work for change in our community—I can’t take on the whole world but I can act locally and I will be a voice for all the people who keep this city running. The backbone of this city is its’ families, its’ workers and its’ renters, all which need to be heard and supported. I will not claim to have all the answers or all the solutions but when it comes down to any decision, it will be made with the greatest consideration for the future of our city. The world of local politics is very new to me and intimidating at times, but I want to serve Mt. Pleasant! My focus is to give a voice to everyone in this city that feels that they don't have a voice or a seat at the table. I want a strong community and community means a place where everyone has what they need and feels the support of the world around them or in this case the city around them.

What issue would I tackle day one…

Over half of the population of Mt. Pleasant are renters. Now think about this…the City Commission currently has no renters on it at all, that includes me. The last renter on the commission just bought a house…Congratulations Mayor Wingard! Now he faces public attack by landlords in a recently submitted letter to the City Commission. So I pose this question: if a landlord is willing to attack a public figure in very broad accusations with no real details to understand the full situation, what is the typical/normal renter up against? I’ve said it at the dais and I will say it again…there is an inherent power dynamic in the tenant/landlord system. One that allows a more powerful side to hold and keep the upper hand because they control a basic need for more than half of our city’s residences. I want to see renters represented and protected at the city level. The formation of a Tenants’ Right Committee is underway but that’s only one small step in gaining protection and ensuring renters’ rights. Ordinances and zoning are other tools we can use at a city level to help safeguard our renters against bad actors. We also need a governing body that looks like our community. Until the City Commission has representatives that reflect the demographics of our city, I will use my voice to advocate for everyone who wants to step up, be heard or get a seat at the table.

Hanna Demerath
Mt. Pleasant City Commissioner

BREAKING: Mount Pleasant reached 74° before 8 a.m., proving the sun also believes in getting to work early.

Today’s forecast calls for a high of 99°, or as Consumers Energy calls it, “record profits.”

This is for everyone who was too cold in February and kept saying, “I can’t wait for summer.”

Please step outside and apologize to winter.

We’ll wait.

Dear Candidates, The Mocking Sun Has Mail for You

Election season is officially underway, and The Mocking Sun would like to extend an open invitation to every candidate appearing on the Mount Pleasant ballot.

We’re giving you the microphone.

Jocelyn Benson and Chris Swanson, Michigan’s next governor will inherit a state facing real challenges. Why should voters trust you to lead it? Send us a letter telling Mid-Michigan why you’re the right choice.

For the Democratic nomination for U.S. Senate, Abdul El-Sayed and Haley Stevens, we’d love to hear from you. Tell Mid-Michigan why you’re the better choice to take on Florida Man… sorry, Mike Rogers… this November.

And in the race to challenge Congressman John Moolenaar, we’re asking Ben Ambrose, Jamie Hill, and Clyde Welford one simple question:

Why are you the Democrat best equipped to send John Moolenaar into retirement?

Hanna Demerath and Michael Kostrzewa, convince us. Why should Mount Pleasant voters trust you with a seat on the City Commission? What’s one issue you’d tackle on day one?

Finally, Congressman John Moolenaar, the invitation remains open. We’d genuinely welcome a letter from you, too.

Will we agree with it?

Probably not.

Will we publish it?

Absolutely. We believe voters should hear directly from the people asking for their vote. We’ll publish responses from any candidate, regardless of party, so long as they’re submitted in good faith and meet the same standards.

The Mocking Sun has opinions. That’s hardly a state secret. But we also think democracy works better when candidates speak for themselves instead of through thirty-second ads and carefully cropped Facebook posts.

So candidates, the inbox is open.

Convince us.

Or at least give us something more interesting than another mailer about how your opponent once voted for a parking ordinance in 2019.

Elect Jamie HillJocelyn BensonBen Ambrose for CongressCongressman John MoolenaarJohn MoolenaarSecond Congressional District Democratic Party of MichiganHanna R DemerathMike RogersClyde Anthony Welford Abdul El-SayedHaley Stevens

SUNDAY SHOUT OFF

Welcome back, Mt. Pleasant.

Before we begin, we woke up to the news that Sen. Lindsey Graham died overnight at the age of 71.

Long before becoming one of the regime’s closest allies, Graham had a very different opinion.

In 2016, he warned:

“If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed… and we will deserve it.”

He also told Trump to “go to hell.”

Perhaps the most memorable quote, though, was Graham’s own challenge to the American people:

“Use my words against me.”

History has a funny way of accepting invitations.

Now… onto the shouting.

—

“Is anyone surviving Mission Street? Southbound is one lane and it feels like we’re all participating in a giant social experiment.”

Construction season has officially reached its final form.

Mission Street is now less of a road and more of an endurance event.

You leave ten minutes early.

Google Maps says you’ll arrive in twelve minutes.

Google Maps is lying.

The real travel time depends on whether the light changes before your grandchildren graduate.

On the bright side, we’ve all had plenty of time to admire every business on Mission while sitting in front of it.

—

“Every single time I go to Meijer, they’re out of exactly one thing on my list.”

Every.

Single.

Time.

You can buy patio furniture, a kayak, socks, a television, fourteen flavors of sparkling water, and enough frozen pizza to survive the apocalypse.

But the one thing you actually needed?

Gone.

It’s never something obscure.

It’s taco seasoning.

Or sour cream.

Or the exact coffee your spouse specifically texted you not to forget.

Now you’re making a second stop because apparently Meijer believes grocery shopping should include a side quest.

—

“Can we please normalize waving when someone lets you merge in traffic?”

It costs nothing.

A little wave.

A finger off the steering wheel.

Some acknowledgment that another human just let you into traffic.

Instead, some people merge with the confidence of royalty accepting tribute.

You are not the King of Mission Street.

Wave.

Civilization depends on these little things.

—

That’s it. Three shouts.

One construction survival story.

One Meijer scavenger hunt.

One campaign to save the thank-you wave.

Same town.

Same shouting.

Regime Celebrates Success of “Not a Pen” After Bill Becomes Law Anyway

WASHINGTON, D.C. In what historians are calling “the most productive act of not doing anything in recent memory,” the Current Regime’s newest executive tool, the “Not a Pen,” officially proved itself overnight.

The regime leader declined to sign the bipartisan housing bill in protest of an unrelated election measure. Overnight, the bill became law anyway because Congress had passed it with enough support for it to take effect without the president’s signature.

White House officials immediately declared victory.

“See?” one spokesperson reportedly explained. “The President successfully signed absolutely nothing. Mission accomplished.”

The Regime has since announced the Not a Pen will join an expanding line of executive office supplies, including:

* The Not a Veto, which also accomplishes less than advertised.
* The Invisible Sharpie, for taking credit without leaving evidence.
* The Executive Eraser, designed to remove inconvenient campaign promises.

Constitutional scholars were less impressed.

“It turns out the Constitution anticipated the possibility that a president might decide to pout instead of pick up a pen,” one expert allegedly noted.

Sources inside the White House say the Regime is now exploring whether future legislation can be ignored even harder, though engineers admit they may have already reached the maximum setting.

LOCAL CONSERVATIVES DEMAND TO KNOW WHEN DADDY TRUMP IS SENDING MOUNT PLEASANT ITS FREEDOM FUEL

MOUNT PLEASANT. Local conservatives who have spent decades explaining that government should stay out of the economy are reportedly becoming increasingly impatient as they wait for Daddy Trump to personally deliver one of his new Freedom Fuel stations to Central Michigan.

“I thought this was part of the deal,” said one supporter while refreshing Truth Social. “I voted. I bought the flag. I bought the hat. I defended the tariffs. Where’s my discounted gas?”

The Freedom Fuel Network has been promoted by President Trump as offering lower gas prices, though questions remain about exactly how the discounts are funded and how the business model works.

“It’s only socialism when other people get something,” explained another resident. “When Donald Trump gives me cheaper gas, that’s called freedom.”

Several supporters expressed disappointment that the first locations weren’t in Mount Pleasant.

“We’ve got room,” one resident argued. “If we can fit fourteen car washes, twenty-seven banks, and a mattress store that nobody has ever seen a customer inside, we can squeeze in one Freedom Fuel.”

Others have begun circulating a petition asking President Trump to issue an executive order requiring every county that voted for him to receive one station immediately.

Economic experts were unavailable for comment after being informed that facts have once again been placed on administrative leave.

At press time, supporters had reportedly moved on to asking whether Daddy Trump could also open a Freedom Grocery, a Freedom Pharmacy, a Freedom Insurance Company, and perhaps a Freedom Utility, proving once and for all that government handouts are perfectly acceptable as long as they’re wrapped in an American flag and announced at a rally.

Reply All: Shepherd’s Newest Economic Development Strategy

SHEPHERD, MI. Every small town has its traditions.

The Maple Syrup Festival.

Debating the stoplight.

And now, apparently, Reply All.

This week’s production began when the owners of Sweet Finds of Shepherd sent a farewell email to members of the business community describing persistent rumors, a lack of support, and what they believed was an anti-new-business culture that contributed to their decision to close.

Then, in a move destined for the Small Town Hall of Fame, a Village official, responding in a Chamber leadership role, pressed the most dangerous button in Microsoft Outlook.

Reply All.

Nothing says, “Let’s put this behind us,” quite like making sure every business owner in town gets another copy.

The response assured recipients that the Chamber didn’t start the rumors and reminded everyone that rumors are sometimes just rumors.

An interesting strategy.

Especially when the existence of an anti-new-business culture has been confirmed to The Mocking Sun by multiple community sources.

In other words, the debate isn’t whether people have been talking.

The debate is whether everyone should pretend they haven’t.

Economic development experts generally recommend attracting entrepreneurs by creating an environment where businesses support one another.

Shepherd appears to be beta testing a different model.

Open the business.

Cut the ribbon.

Smile for the picture.

Then let the whisper campaign determine the quarterly earnings.

The real winner, however, was Reply All, which once again proved that no software feature has done more for small-town entertainment than the button sitting just above “Forward.”

At press time, Shepherd was reportedly updating its economic development brochure to read:

“Come for the ribbon cutting. Stay for the email chain.”

Edit: Event is July 16.
Milk Carton Moolenaar Reportedly Spotted Next Week in Mount Pleasant… Sort Of

MOUNT PLEASANT. Residents across Mid-Michigan are being advised to keep an eye out next week after credible reports surfaced that “Milk Carton Moolenaar” may finally make an appearance in Mount Pleasant.

Unfortunately for anyone hoping to actually see Congressman John Moolenaar, it is his hopeful opponent, Marine veteran Ben Ambrose, who will be holding the town hall.

The event, scheduled for 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. on July 16th at the Isabella County Commission on Aging, is expected to feature a radical concept that has become increasingly rare in Michigan’s 2nd Congressional District: a politician standing in front of actual constituents and answering questions that were not submitted three weeks in advance, screened by three staffers, and approved by a communications consultant.

According to Ambrose’s campaign, voters have nicknamed the incumbent “Milk Carton Moolenaar,” a reference to his legendary ability to disappear whenever someone asks for an unscripted conversation.

Local residents remain optimistic.

“I’ve heard if you say ‘oversight,’ ‘town hall,’ and ‘constituent’ three times in front of a mirror, he still doesn’t appear,” said one Mount Pleasant resident.

Others remain convinced the congressman exists, citing occasional Facebook posts, campaign mailers, and carefully staged photo opportunities with ribbon-cutting scissors.

Political scientists say the event offers a rare opportunity for voters to compare two campaign strategies side by side.

One candidate is traveling the district holding public town halls.

The other continues his long-running experiment to determine whether a member of Congress can represent 770,000 people entirely through press releases and social media graphics.

Anyone attending is encouraged to keep an eye on nearby bulletin boards. If you happen to spot a missing person flyer featuring Michigan’s 2nd District representative, please notify the appropriate authorities.

Or at least let The Mocking Sun know. We’ve been looking, too.

Shepherd Accepting Applications for People Who Think, “I Could Probably Fix This”

Do you live in the Village of Shepherd?

Did you survive the Great Boil Water Crisis of 2024?

Did you pick a side during the Ice Cream War of 2025?

Have you ever spent an unreasonable amount of time discussing a stoplight, decorative lighting, or whether someone’s dandelions constitute “natural landscaping”?

Congratulations. You’re already qualified to have an opinion. Now you can make it official.

The Village of Shepherd is accepting nominating petitions for Village Council, with seats available for President, Treasurer, and Trustee. Petitions are due by 4:00 p.m. on July 21.

This is your opportunity to help decide the really important issues facing the community, including:

* Whether the next stoplight should become an even bigger local celebrity.
* If the decorative lights are too bright, too dim, or somehow both.
* Which yard should receive a strongly worded letter just before the Maple Syrup Festival.
* How many Facebook comments it takes before something officially becomes a village controversy.
* The next issue The Mocking Sun gets to make fun of.

Remember, every legendary village debate started with someone saying, “How hard could it be?”

Now is your chance to find out. Just be sure you’re a Village resident. The Facebook comments alone don’t count as residency.

Michigan Democrats Debate for the Right to Face Florida Man Mike Rogers

LANSING, MI. Haley Stevens and Abdul El-Sayed squared off Tuesday night in the Democratic primary debate, competing for the honor of becoming the person tasked with preventing Florida Man Mike Rogers from representing Michigan in the United States Senate.

The candidates debated health care, housing, reproductive rights, manufacturing, and the cost of living.

Mike Rogers remained the elephant not in the room.

For nearly two hours, Stevens and El-Sayed outlined competing visions for Michigan’s future while voters quietly wondered which one had the best chance of defeating the political equivalent of a news headline that begins, “Florida Man…”

Analysts called it a debate.

The Mocking Sun called it the semifinal.

The winner advances to the championship round against Mike Rogers, a man whose campaign continues to answer the question nobody asked: “What if Florida Man wore a suit?”

Michigan has produced auto workers, teachers, nurses, engineers, astronauts, Motown, and Vernors.

It has never intentionally produced a Florida Man.

Voters will have their say in November. Until then, Stevens and El-Sayed will continue making their case that Michigan deserves a senator who knows the difference between Mackinac and Manatee County.

Then again, in 2026, even that feels like setting the bar a little high.