Dynamic Sounds Associates

Happy New Year to all!
The redoubtable Douglas Hurlburt undoubtedly had too much time on his hands before founding Dynamic Sounds Associates in the early 2000s- as this charming take on an "Audiophile Christmas" he penned in 1997 exhibits:

T’WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS (as revised by D. Hurlburt)

[With apologies to Clement C. Moore]

T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
The stereo was down, and I felt like a louse.
My woofers were blown, the amps were all fried,
I wished that I could have laid down and died.
My family was nestled, all snug in their beds,
While visions of surround sound danced in their heads.
When out on the porch there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my listening seat to see what was the matter.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But an audio advisor with a 6-pack of beer.
His resume glowed with experience so rare,
He could turn out great systems without turning a hair.
More rapid than eagles, his components they came,
As he cursed and he muttered and called them by name.
On Sony! On SOTA! On Carver! On Classé!
On Oracle! On Graham! On Electrocompaniet!
His eyes were glazed over, his fingers nimble and lean,
From pulling audio cables betwixt and between.
With a wink of his eye, and a nod of his head,
He gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Laying components about; then he turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger upon the “START” key,
The system came up and worked perfectly.
The soundstage was wide; the depth was fantastic,
The sound was so pure that I was ecstatic.
He tested each k**b, and tested each setting,
He wanted to show me just what I was getting.
The system was finished, the tests were concluded,
My most fervent hopes were even included.
Then the family exclaimed, with a shout and a cheer,
“It’s just what we asked for, now pass out the beer!