Winning Your Relationship Game

Words of Encouragement:

What gets rewarded gets repeated. Offering encouragement is a very simple reward. Are you familiar with Dr. Gary Chapman and his Five Love Languages? “Words of encouragement” might not be at the top of your list, but almost everyone enjoys them. People who are “acts of service” oriented may minimize this bc they don't need them. But if your partner points out they took out the trash (which you’ve done 99 times) they’re asking for words of encouragement! Don’t fall into resentment, give it to them!

Now, encouragement is only valid if it's valid! You note something and then say it! Difficult when in conflict with your partner. Dig deep! You can do it!

Make a list of encouragement and keep it handy. Refer often to the list and shift into gratitude and appreciation.

Here’s some ideas:

Good for you!

Bravo!

Thank you for making my day.

Thank you for… taking out the trash…..picking up the milk….putting the laundry in the hamper….making coffee this morning…..working so hard.

That was really smart.

I feel safe with you and you’re safe with me.

I want to go on a date with you tonight.

Thanks for fixing that.

You put a lot of work into that.

It’s fun to take walks with you.

Keep it up.

It’s always nice when we can watch our favorite TV show together.

That was very nice.

You always make me laugh.

You’ve made my life so wonderful.

We’ve raised some great kids.

Wouldn't anyone be stoked to hear those things? Your task is to a list of words of encouragement. Find honestly good things about your partner that you can consistently and persistently compliment them on. Keep that list handy and when you notice negative feelings about your partner, refer to it. It’ll shift your thoughts into a more positive space and that’s a winning move.

Stay encouraging! Namaste,
Allison