The Rusty Owl

Ex-spouse Alert! Got one? 😜

Being kind is always an option!!

A Tale of Kindness!

I wish I could say I always respond with such elegance, poise and grace, but to be honest, I have my limits, and apparently today, that limit was had. I've allowed many derogatory remarks in the past to "slide," but not today. Follow me down this slippery slope...I have a point. 🤪

Some of you might've seen the negative banter on my post from yesterday. I guess my husband's lovely ex thought a lil mudslinging was appropriate and felt comfortable throwing stones on my business page regarding personal matters. If there was a real concern, she may have considered tapping the button marked, "message,"...for a private conversation between the two of us, vs addressing them on my business page in an attempt to tarnish my reputation. Some may find this post unnecessary, but I found the silver lining and decided there's nothing wrong with a simple reminder to be kind. 😉

I could have taken the high road, and let the negative banter "slide" off my back, like water off a duck's back, but I'm not a duck. 😂🦆 Soooo, there's that!

What gets me is keyboard ninjas who'd never say it to your face, but are more than comfortable hiding behind a keyboard typing snide remarks then play the victim when they're called out!!

My ex and I figured out that co-parenting was better for our son. We weren't perfect, but we tried, and he was invited to the important stuff - birthday parties, sports games, etc..,. In fact his wife and I have attended several retreats together. It hasn't always been smooth sailing, but it's better than playing the 'let's make the kid choose' game. I would NEVER want to be the reason my son didn't have a relationship with his dad. Don't get me wrong, we had our fair share of making poor choices but over time, we've learned from them. I would think after 20+ yrs, this other party would have also.

I know it may seems like I'm contradicting myself, but in all honesty, this is truly heartbreaking. I see the hurt in my husband's eyes. I see how over the years the relationships have grown further and further apart. Not because my husband doesn't love his kids, but because he's emotionally exhausted. The rejection of choosing to spend time over the other parent has taken its toll. In the end, I'm praying hearts can change/mend and grace given.

To all the ex-spouses out there, consider this: badmouthing the other parent or their new significant other might just boomerang on you, and it's the kids who end up with emotional whiplash. Just because you and your ex don't like each other doesn't mean your kids feel the same way. Kids should NEVER feel they need to make a choice.

Let's all do our kids a favor: allow your kids to love each of you. Don't manipulate your kids into making a choice due to your own insecurities or dislikes towards your ex. Your kids aren't pawns in your game of 'Ex-spouse Gotcha.' The best gift you can give your kids is showing them what kindness and respect look like, even when things get messy & hard. THAT, is the true epitome of Love for your kids. ♥️ Keep adult matters between the adults.

Now, I know there are all kinds of circumstances out there. Unhealthy and unsafe ex-spouses. I'm not referring to these kinds of relationships, as these often require a third party to navigate healthy boundaries. 👐

Ok, stepping off my soap box! In the meantime: HAPPY EX-ING 😜
Blessings! ♥️