Jazzical

Bennington VT!!
You know what time it is…
Piano time!

Happy Jazzical Birthday to my Z! 14 years old today!!🎉🎉🎉

Don’t ask me “How did the time fly by?” I was there for all 14 years, and I look forward to being there for her the next 14 years , and then 14 years after that, and so on, and so on…😀

I love you my sweet adult in the making. So proud of you! The light shines on you, the light shines in you. Always remember that!

❤️🌟❤️🌟❤️

https://keystonesoralhistories.com/about/collaborations/
More than happy to be a part of this important project! You will be hearing more about this soon! Thank you Bryan Wade!

Collaborations - Keystones Oral Histories Collaborations The Need For An African American Curriculum Lincoln Charter School Help To Tell A More Inclusive Version Of History York College Of Pennsylvania Joel A. Martin Musician

Good morning everyone! This is truly some exciting stuff going down in my life on multiple levels. As things are in process I cannot divulge it, YET, but soon I will. Working, working, working, making things happen. God’s plan.

What I want to talk about is my last trip to Armenia a couple of weeks ago. Not the really cool stuff, but the backstory...the real one.

I did not know exactly why I felt compelled to go at that time, I just knew I had to go. I had a plan of action - to do some sightseeing, a photo shoot or two, attend WCIT 2024 - all of which I accomplished in 6 days. The concert at Ardēan / Արդեան was an extra bonus which turned out to be quite a pivotal moment in my story, and this is where I start my story begin my story.

The Jazzical Komitas concert went very well, though I did not realize it until the next morning. Until that morning when I watched the video I was very unsure - I thought it was a terrible concert but not for the reasons you might be thinking.

You see, I had a series of epiphanies all at once during the concert that took me to all kinds of deep, dark, and beautiful places. While I was playing...I had no control over them, so I felt helpless as I played for 80 minutes straight. I just had to roll with it. Yes, I was there with everyone in attendance, but I was also someplace else with my deepest thoughts. Every time I stopped playing, my mind and body would snap back to my physical location, but the feelings inside me overpowered me. The only thing that could stop this onslaught of emotion was to play more, which only intensified my soul. There were a couple of moments where it was just too much for me to handle.

I did not know why I broke down....

The next morning it hit me, the why.

During the concert, I started thinking about the trip, Armenia, the weight of Komitas on my heart, cancer, the last 18 months of pain, suffering and enlightenment, all the fears I kept inside, all that my family went through, playing new Jazzical Komitas music for the first time, re-uniting with old friends, making new ones. It ran the gamut and more. I felt that all of that interfered with my concert and playing.

That night I went to bed feeling terrible. I did not sleep well.

The next morning I woke up at 6am and did what I normally do - review the concert footage from my Iphone.

As I watched it, I thought "this is not bad". 20 minutes later "This is pretty good concert" and made some notes for future performances.

Then the truth hit me like a ton of bricks. I was healed internally because I went through the fire and dealt with many of the emotions that simultaneously sustained me during the last 18 months AND caused me great stress and angst (sturm und drang). It just so happened that the great “day of reckoning” happened during this concert.

I got out of bed FEELING very different about me, my life, the past, everything around me. I transformed in the most beautiful and violent way. During that concert I felt the pain of being inundated with hundreds of shots, chemo, remembering the time when the girlz were afraid to come into the hospital room, all the concerts I gave during that, the recordings I produced from bed, going to volleyball games, taking care of the day to day activities around the home, writing and writing, telling my story with a smile on my face while feeling really crappy. All of it and so much more…

And in Armenia, a country of peace for many, I was healed. Re-born…

Shedding the old me. Being granted a chance to be the new me, someone I have been working on for many years to achieve.
And there I was…alone in my hotel room…but not really alone. God was with me with a mandate: “Get on with the living”

And that is what I have been doing ever since.

I am not making up for lost time. I am moving forward, the next step in my journey. I like this Joel, I am at peace with myself and getting better with every day. The music is definitely better….

And that my friends is my story