Bully Prevention Partners

Gifts of Character: Kindness
Aggressor: Kindness is needed by the attacker to resist the temptation to be cruel. Some have learned to criticize, tease and pick on others because the same has happened to them. To call on the kindness that is within them, those who have been aggressive towards others can look at what need they are missing, then decide to fill that need in a positive way.

Target: The target of aggression can use kindness toward themselves by not waiting to reach out for the help they need from others. As they reflect on the meanness shown to them, they will refuse to retaliate with similar conduct. Instead, the target of aggression will use assertiveness and resources available to support them and stand up for their rights in school, workplace and family.

Bystander: The bystander in any situation of aggression will use kindness to help the attacked individuals and the aggressor. The bystander will be thoughtful by inviting others to join standing against bad behavior, while not returning a mean response to those still working on kindness. They will resist the urge to join the attack out of fear of being picked on themselves. When in doubt of what to do, bystanders will ask those adults they respect for how they can display kindness.

Gifts of Character: Resilience
Aggressor: Resilience is about recovering from adversity, so when an aggressor finds themselves lashing out against others they want to ask themselves how they are suffering. Are they also attacked by a bully? Is there someone who is abusing them verbally or physically? If the aggressor is enduring attacks, they can use resilience and courage to overcome and grow.

Target: The target of aggression can use resilience to overcome their disappointments with those attacking them. They will use their community of supporters to find comfort and strength. Resilience is made up of optimism which is key to believing that the days to come will get better. The targets of aggression can allow the hardships to beat them down or to cultivate stronger character.

Bystander: The bystander in any situation of aggression will use resilience to stand strong with their companions. They will be determined to change the culture of their community to one of peace and tolerance. Even if they are made fun of for standing up to the aggressor and standing for the cooperation of all in the community, bystanders have faith that they will prevail. Bystanders will use resilience not to give up in their determination to support their friends.

Gifts of Character: Thoughtfulness
Aggressor: Thoughtfulness is kindness guided by empathy. Those who are being aggressive towards another person want to call on their thoughtfulness, to pay attention to the likes and dislikes of the other person. It is likely they have done this already and chosen to focus on their dislikes instead of considering how their words or actions would affect the person they are acting on.

Target: The target of aggression can use thoughtfulness also by observing what the aggressor needs and thinking about how it might be provided. Do they need a friend or even help in something that you are good at doing. The target want to be discerning in their decisions. They are thoughtful about how they respond in their actions and words. Thoughtfulness will keep them from lowering their standards and react in an unkind manner.

Bystander: The bystander in any situation of aggression wants to practice thoughtfulness also by observing all of the circumstances and being considerate of the target of bullying. They will give their attention to the needs of others and be thoughtful about how they can help the most. Do they need to get additional help or can they practice their best virtues without further support? Being thoughtful of the target will no doubt brighten and grow the trust between the parties. Everyone enjoys being around a person who is not self-centered and who is always thinking about what they can do to help their friends.