Miami County Scanner

Broadway / Daniel - caller advised they were eating a Crunchwrap supreme with Diablo sauce when the packet squirted into their eyes causing them to lose vision resulting in a minor PD.

Mr. Weenie’s - report of a male highly resembling Joe Biden sitting ontop of the hot dog sign trying to ride it like a bull while chanting “poor kids are just as smart as white kids!”

Miami Correctional Facility - a helicopter flew over and released an unknown gas. The inmates and guards are now trying to eat each other while Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus is blaring over the intercoms.