The Passion Lab

Seven years ago, I wrote a letter to myself to open on the first day of my very first s*xuality conference.

At the time I was about a year out of grad school, living in Seattle, working in community mental health. I don’t remember why I specifically decided to write this, but I can guess it must have been from a deep longing to be part of community of s*x therapists and educators that I admired from afar and have been learning from since high school.

I must’ve not been able to afford going back in 2017, but was determined to go as soon as I could. So, I wrote a letter to talk to myself on that first day, whenever that was, knowing what it would mean to both of us that we finally arrived. I wouldn’t have known that my first conference would be seven years later, June 2025.

For many reasons it hadn’t been possible to attend a conference. Even this year, I questioned if I could afford it. In the end, I knew I needed to do this for myself. I needed community, kinship with other professionals, and honestly just something different from being stuck in my damn house working from home all the time. As soon as many people at the conference reminded one another, it gets lonely.

I’m so grateful to 2017 me for recognizing attending this conference would be so impactful, and that I would need help not taking that for granted. It worked. And I’m still cherishing the memories of it.

Hi all 👋🏽 I needed a month to orient myself into 2024, but here I am, astonished it’s already February. This month is Black History month, and what better way to celebrate that this year than by getting an email February 1st from Dr. Lexx Brown-James *xdoc introducing herself as the new AASECT President. Congrats Dr. Lexx! 🎉 I’ve never met Dr. Lexx in person (yet 🤞🏽), but she’s been one of my s*x therapist idols for a very long time.

Out of curiosity, I wanted to see who else is currently involved in AASECT, and was blown away by the fact that most of the board of directors are Black women/women of color 🙌🏽 Looking at the board of directors, MOST of them are professionals I’ve followed the careers of, with the help of IG, since before I became a licensed therapist myself.

In a podcast episode from Olgies with Alie Ward , and digital architect, Iddris Sandu , Iddris shares that the word architect is also a verb, emphasizing that an architect isn’t just a person (n.), but a process (v.) of taking an idea and turning it into something tangible. Listening to him talk about it like that, I’d like to think that the leaders of healthy s*xuality spaces are also s*xuality architects. I’m so grateful to witness and be part of, in my own little ways, what gets created.

Did you know...

There’s a difference between s*x quality and s*x quantity ?

If your goal is to have more s*x because you’re coming from a place in your s*x life that has little or no s*x involved, then just having s*x is better than nothing. Lazy, sleepy s*x, lukewarm s*x is still s*x. It gets you in the habit of doing it instead of letting the anxiety of not doing it build.

Remember that next time the thought comes up to have s*x, even if you're not feeling your most s*xy, erotic, energized don't ignore it. Get your mediocre grind on and take pride that it at least happened!
*xquality *x *xualtherapist *xiss*x *xualfreedom