The Kintsugi Heart Method - Putting the Pieces Back Together

This is the beauty of Wabi Wabi - ❤

When we have negative emotions, we need to allow ourselves to feel them instead of trying to force ourselves to stay positive.

Processing these emotions can be positive and constructive because it allows us to validate and work through them. And, we are human - meant to experience an array of emotions - This can lead to personal growth, emotional resilience, and a deeper understanding of our needs and values. Of course, it's important to manage negative emotions in a healthy way and seek support if they become overwhelming or persistent.

There is something called clean pain and dirty pain. Clean pain is that pain you feel when something immediate happens – you get terrible news, you cut your finger while chopping vegetables, you fall down and break your arm. Clean pain. Now dirty pain is when we re-live an incident in our mind and feel that pain all over again. This is what we do after relationships end. We relive all these moments and memories that cause us pain now – but the actual event has already happened. Pay attention to your pain. Is it clean? Or are you digging it up and creating dirty pain for yourself?

It’s only natural that we will go over and over things that were said, things that were done, or thoughts about what could’ve or should’ve been. But this is where you do have some control. I’m not saying this is easy – but if you really do want to move past this pain and on to brighter days, you’ve gotta do the work. You've got to recognize that your thoughts are creating those feelings - creating that pain. We need to work with our thoughts and learn how to re-direct them.

In a relationship, we adjust and make changes to align with our partner's needs and preferences. These might be small changes, like the music you listen to, where you go on vacation, what you do in your spare time, or the activities you share. Sometimes we aren't even aware of it, but we change our interests, our daily habits, which results in us changing our core identity.

However, after a breakup, it's your opportunity to rediscover yourself, to meet yourself again. It's time to reconnect with the person you were before the relationship, explore who you've been in the relationship, and visualize who you'd like to be after the relationship.

Now is the time that you can reconnect with your values, your wants, your needs, and become the person you want to be. We can get lost in the relationship without even realizing that parts of us that we loved, or that we wanted to become, have been minimized or made small. Take this time to focus on you - because YOU are that important.