Portland Trauma Healing

Our body holds programmed responses and patterns of being. We go through the world operating from these conditioned responses, largely unaware of the echoes of the past alive in the present. Our sense of self is held not only in our verbal narratives and stories about who we are but in our nonverbal habits as well. 

"We remember the past, not only in words, images and stories, but also through chronic habits of tension, movement and posture." The language of the body speaks through procedural memory."-Pat Ogden

We carry the stories of our childhoods within us, encoded in our psyches and in our physical beings. These stories inform how we expect others to treat us, how we treat others and whether or not we hold self-compassion or self-criticism when things don't turn out as expected. These beliefs inform our body language and how we walk through the world. 

We have complexes because we have histories. 

If we have patterns of enduring other's poor treatment of us, those patterns persist. If we avoid eye contact or look down with crossed arms when we enter a room, if we have distancing actions and isolate when hurt, if we physically collapse when there's conflict, if we seek proximity when we're upset, if we habitually clench our fists and tighten our jaws .. all these behaviors stem from an accumulation of past events, all largely operating on an automatic and unconscious level due to procedural memory.

"Identity is merely a pattern of events in time and space. Change the pattern and you change the person"

You can shift from being caught up in a fixed narrative of who you are to becoming more mindful and invested in your internal experience. You can make a difference in how you feel. You can do things to release the tension you carry. If you feel dysregulated and destabilized, you can learn ways to find more safety in your body.  You are capable of learning new ways to move your body through the world.
If you are interested in somatic work and in changing the physical habits of your body, reach out to someone trained in sensorimotor psychotherapy or another somatic modality. The results can be so transformational.

Do aspects of your life feel like Groundhog’s Day the movie? Have you caught yourself repeating certain unhealthy patterns and can’t seem to figure out how to break free? Perhaps you’re attracted to the same emotionally avoidant person time and again despite your desire for true intimacy……or maybe you yourself are the emotionally avoidant person. Maybe you perpetually wake up late or show up late to things despite your best intentions. Your patterns might be more self-destructive and involve addictive behaviors or disordered eating. No matter what shape they take on, chances are, they’re impacting your quality of life and overall happiness.

We unconsciously seek out situations and people that feel familiar, even if that familiarity is painful. In relationships, this can look like reenactments from our childhood, feeling chemistry with people who represent the negative qualities of our caretakers or with whom we recreate the traumas of our past. Our emotional states themselves can become addictive and we might seek to perpetuate them, even when those emotional states are painful.

We take great comfort in what is known, despite the consequences.

Stepping outside this is possible. The first step is to make the unconscious conscious. Recognizing the existing patterns is crucial. Finding a therapist you trust and feel safe with can help provide you with the clarity and insight to do this important work. Once you’ve identified the patterns, the next step is discovering what is driving those behaviors. Learning to recognize your triggers or underlying reasons for sustaining unhealthy choices helps create the space to choose differently.

So much of the work lies in healing those parts of yourself that carry shame, sadness, grief or anger from your past. Learning to accept and feel compassion for the coping strategies that have gotten you this far is invaluable. We all can heal and grow.