The New Stepford

Clean up your own s**t.
Please and thank you.

Ht .paschall

How to make a weighted vest.

Take two bottles of wine.
Strap one in front of each b**b.
Walk like up a hill or something.
*straw not included

wine yesevenboxedwine dontbeasnob

Having a summer intern in my office was…..enlightening.

Hi if you’re new here let me introduce myself. I’m Whitney.

Real nose, fake t**s and Botox when I can afford it.

Insecure women don’t like me. Took me a while to figure that out and beat myself up about it for years. Finally learned to lean into it. And proud to say I have a ferocious group of bad ass gal pals who inspire and humble me everyday. (Hey yes I’m talking about you).

Hearing my kids laugh is my favorite thing in the world.

I support gun control. No civilan needs an assault rifle. It’s the one political thing I’ve vocal about unapologetically.

I’m narcissist adjacent and can speak it fluently but thank god I married an empath who has truly grown my heart and listening skills. Marry the funniest smartest guy in the room and you can’t go wrong.

I think Jeff Goldblum is the bees 🐝 knees even though I hate jazz. I am also an atheist who believes in ghosts. IDK you figure it out. BTW I actually saw 3 ghosts and a ghost cat at the Culver Hotel last month and sometime I’ll tell you about it.

My friends are my world. I got really lucky this time around with some golden eggs.

the sweater is from

I love horror movies, Rottweilers, caramel corn and good and plenty. I have IBS. I also host comedy shows a few times a month so come on out. We are feral. Follow

I’d love to hear a random truthful thing about you. Make it juicy. Drop it below.

We never drove in flip flops. We read cereal boxes like textbooks. We wrote our own college essays. We got jobs at 14 and took the bus. We listened to Wham! And wondered about blasphemous rumors. We know our 7th grade best friend’s phone number but not our own kids’s. We paid for our first cars. We made our own lunches. Out social media was standing outside the 1 hour photo store in the mall and watching the pictures get printed - sideways. Our music rocked. I absolutely love .